Ozami – Music, Celebrity, Sports Entertainment Blog

Yes this must be the rubric of the year so far which is sure to knock Prince Harry off the main headlines. But there is a story to tell behind the headlines the rubric is based on hype and nonsense that has been in the UK Tabloids since Wayne Rooney received a bad cut on his thigh in the Manchester United v Fulham EPL match last Saturday.

Here is some of the mumbo jumbo we have seen in the UK gutter press :-
•    Rooney leg will heal but rift with Fergie will not!
•    Rooney has nowhere to go not wanted by Real Madrid – Barca and Inter Milan
•    SAF to sell Rooney for $75 Million Dollars
•    Sir Alex Ferguson to offload Rooney as rift widens

The garbage press never seem to learn the UK public do not want to hear this trash talk day after day they are smarter than that, to The Sun direct only a small fraction of the UK public have pea sized brains like the reality stars on Big Brother. Time to stop fooling around like The Sun and The Daily Star making stories up about Wayne Rooney we appreciate all the hype sells more newspapers. But it comes at a cost which is that you are not telling the truth about  Prince Harry and/or Wayne Rooney. The UK public are smart enough to know all the talk about Wayne Rooney is pure gossip and rumor  – not one single word that has been written about Wayne Rooney came officially from the Manchester United camp. Moreover throwing cocaine into the Prince Harry LV Las Vegas cocktail is yet another ploy to get the advertiser’s millions.

Maybe before the weeks out the UK gutter press are going to run another exclusive on Imogen Thomas in baby scan sensation – ex Ryan Giggs flunky went to the hospital this week for a baby scan and the doctor came back with the startling news that all was well with the baby – but the bass guitar he was playing in the womb while singing Beatles song ‘All you need is Love’ was out of tune – So we got her agent to call The Sun with the exclusive  -  the editor struck a deal and agreed to pay Imogen Thomas half a million pounds for the story.

So we are expecting rubrics like this later this week from The Sun or similar…………
•    Imogen Thomas Expecting a Baby Boy Playing an out of tune Bass Guitar
•    Prince Harry to have Cocaine Discussion with Ricky Hatton
•    Wayne Rooney quits Football for Boxing to fight Ricky Hatton at The Royal Albert Hall

Unconfirmed reports coming in on this sporting sensation a close friend of Frank Warren says that Frank has signed up Wayne Rooney to fight Ricky Hatton at The Royal Albert Hall. For what will be the boxing fight of the Year! At stake will be the title of Boxing Tubby Weight Champion of Greater Manchester. Both fighters will have to weigh in under 13 stone. Manchester United official bookmaker Fred Done has opened a book and has Rooney at 2/1 on to win by KO and there is more to come Fred has Wayne ‘Podgy’ Rooney at 4/1 on to KO Ricky ‘Fatman’ Hatton in Round 1. Legendary boxing trainer Freddie Roach is expected to be named as trainer for Podgy Rooney in the coming days. In case Rooney has a fluke in the ring and obtains a bad cut above the knee like the cut against Fulham – Rooney has opted for Freddie Roach to bring his cuts man on to the Podgy Rooney Team. Hatton is said alleged (rumor again) to  be negotiating a major new sponsor deal with Team Columbia Cocaine. Ricky Hatton is as millions know a lousy fighter but he is a master at hype and promotion and seems to have pulled off a major pre fight coup as he has sent Prince Harry 20 free ringside seats. To close on more pending sponsorship deals – Frank Warren on behalf of Podgy Rooney is rumored to be in advanced negotiations for the ‘Podgy Man’ to be sponsored by Sir Alex Ferguson Bloodstock Racing.

We do know three facts that are accurate everyday in The Sun – The Name – The Date and The Price! – The rest like our own rubric here is likely to be pure baloney…

Want to read all the latest sports and celeb gossip look no farther than…

Wayne Rooney to leave Manchester United…

The best signing of the 2012 EPL close season is the sensational news that Robin van Persie is set to leave Arsenal and join the mighty Manchester United

The Old Trafford terraces will go wild about Robin van Persie
ManU Persie Tra-la-la la-la he is Robin players and scoring goals Tra-la-la la-la
ManU Persie Tra-la-la la-la he is Robin players and scoring goals Tra-la-la la-la

This is a stellar hallmark signing by super shrewd coaching legend SAF – Sir Alex Ferguson he buys in ManU Persie for cash payment of £22 million pounds then hands RVP an £18 million pounds pay deal so the package rounds off at a tidy £40 million pounds. But here is the kicker the guy is cheap at this price because if injury free OT get 3 seasons out of the 29 year old that is only just over £7 million a year for a player that will have notched in at least 60 goals plus in that time. £7 million pounds a year a lot of money to some but pin money to Manchester United as for his wages that is the going rate for top EPL players. The real upside is that goals scored often converts into matches won in both the EPL and the Champions League

However moving on to the benefits of the deal for Arsenal and the wily guru Arsene Wenger, RVP wanted out and Wenger always needs money and this way Arsenal bag £22 million pounds for a player with only one year left on his playing contract – so for the first player to be sold by Arsenal to Manchester United since Viv Anderson in 1987 this is a good deal all round both for the Gunners and the Red Devils.

Anyone think this article is biased and that I am a Manchester United supporter – dead right I am!

Robin ManU Persie Signs On At Old Trafford…

The mighty magnetic lure of one of the world’s premier sports brands Manchester United is so powerful and overwhelming that the fastest man in the world Usain Bolt wants to get signed on at Old Trafford only a day after winning Olympic Gold Medal in the men’s 100 meter race.

Here is what Usain Bolt has to say about Manchester United – quote – “People think I am joking. But if Alex Ferguson called me up and said, ‘OK let’s do this, come and have a trial’, it would be impossible for me to say No.  – more -“I would not take up the challenge if I didn’t think I was good enough. I am a very accomplished player and know I could make a difference.  – more -  “I would be the fastest player in the team — but I can play as well.”  – Attribution clip The Sun UK.

Brazil superstar Lucas Moura appears likely as one of SAF best signings of the 2012 close season. The exciting 19 year old midfield maestro looks set for Old Trafford although his agents seem to playing a game of brinkmanship at this time. But very soon all the hype and BS will settle down at which point – SAF – Sir Alex Ferguson will pounce and close out the signing of Lucas Moura. Even today the Sao Paolo player is being linked with PSG – Paris Saint Germain all of which seems like typical UK tabloid gossip and rumors

RVP – Robin van Persie looks destined to leave Arsenal and join the reds. The transfer saga of RVP is a long drawn out affair but super shrewd negotiator SAF looks likely to convince the Gunners to sell the Dutch striker for £20 Million pounds a lot of money, but a lot less than the £40 million Arsenal were looking for. At the twenty price this looks good business for the Old Trafford giants of EPL football as RVP has just past his 29th birthday and maybe another three seasons at the top in the EPL is all that can be guaranteed. He may well go on to be another Ryan Giggs and play top class football for another ten years, but there are no guarantees this will happen so £20 Million pounds to sign up Robin van Persie to Manchester United is a fair price.

Bolt – Moura – RVP All Linked To Manchester United…

This is not a laughing matter – however it is very funny so here goes. It relates to what people in the UK – United Kingdom know about life and real life issues like geography and other basic subjects

• We will start with EPL – English Premier League football overheard SAF – Sir Alex Ferguson talking off camera to WR – Wayne Rooney – quote – SAF ‘Wayne I want you to score 8 goals in the next 5 Matches’ – more – WR ‘Eh you what Boss!’ – more – SAF ‘You know Wayne 2 times your IQ = 8 goals’ – more – WR ‘Oh sorry boss now I understand I was thinking about a MILF with big knockers at the time that is why I could not work out 8!’ – more – SAF ‘WTF’…

• One in five UK people do not know the countries that make up the United Kingdom

• If SAF is right and the average IQ of an EPL footballer is 4 no wonder the WAGs do not know anything about geography then what do these pretty girls know – seems that their duties are to take care of footballer’s balls. Um that makes sense we assume!

• Six out of ten could not name the highest peak in England some of the answers were Mount Everest – Ben Nevis – Snowden – the answer is Scafell Pike

• One in 3 people believe Manchester – Glasgow and Birmingham are surrounded by the Home Counties which of course surround London

• Over fifty percent of people did not know Balmoral Castle is in Scotland.

• We just have to throw this one in somewhere when Jamie O’Hara the Wolves footballer first met WAG Danielle Lloyd he had no idea she had had been used as a dartboard by pricks!

• Over 25 percent of the folks thought Ayers Rock was in England it is of course a famous Australian landmark

UK High Street Intelligence Questionnaire…