Yes this must be the rubric of the year so far which is sure to knock Prince Harry off the main headlines. But there is a story to tell behind the headlines the rubric is based on hype and nonsense that has been in the UK Tabloids since Wayne Rooney received a bad cut on his thigh in the Manchester United v Fulham EPL match last Saturday.

Here is some of the mumbo jumbo we have seen in the UK gutter press :-
•    Rooney leg will heal but rift with Fergie will not!
•    Rooney has nowhere to go not wanted by Real Madrid – Barca and Inter Milan
•    SAF to sell Rooney for $75 Million Dollars
•    Sir Alex Ferguson to offload Rooney as rift widens

The garbage press never seem to learn the UK public do not want to hear this trash talk day after day they are smarter than that, to The Sun direct only a small fraction of the UK public have pea sized brains like the reality stars on Big Brother. Time to stop fooling around like The Sun and The Daily Star making stories up about Wayne Rooney we appreciate all the hype sells more newspapers. But it comes at a cost which is that you are not telling the truth about  Prince Harry and/or Wayne Rooney. The UK public are smart enough to know all the talk about Wayne Rooney is pure gossip and rumor  – not one single word that has been written about Wayne Rooney came officially from the Manchester United camp. Moreover throwing cocaine into the Prince Harry LV Las Vegas cocktail is yet another ploy to get the advertiser’s millions.

Maybe before the weeks out the UK gutter press are going to run another exclusive on Imogen Thomas in baby scan sensation – ex Ryan Giggs flunky went to the hospital this week for a baby scan and the doctor came back with the startling news that all was well with the baby – but the bass guitar he was playing in the womb while singing Beatles song ‘All you need is Love’ was out of tune – So we got her agent to call The Sun with the exclusive  -  the editor struck a deal and agreed to pay Imogen Thomas half a million pounds for the story.

So we are expecting rubrics like this later this week from The Sun or similar…………
•    Imogen Thomas Expecting a Baby Boy Playing an out of tune Bass Guitar
•    Prince Harry to have Cocaine Discussion with Ricky Hatton
•    Wayne Rooney quits Football for Boxing to fight Ricky Hatton at The Royal Albert Hall

Unconfirmed reports coming in on this sporting sensation a close friend of Frank Warren says that Frank has signed up Wayne Rooney to fight Ricky Hatton at The Royal Albert Hall. For what will be the boxing fight of the Year! At stake will be the title of Boxing Tubby Weight Champion of Greater Manchester. Both fighters will have to weigh in under 13 stone. Manchester United official bookmaker Fred Done has opened a book and has Rooney at 2/1 on to win by KO and there is more to come Fred has Wayne ‘Podgy’ Rooney at 4/1 on to KO Ricky ‘Fatman’ Hatton in Round 1. Legendary boxing trainer Freddie Roach is expected to be named as trainer for Podgy Rooney in the coming days. In case Rooney has a fluke in the ring and obtains a bad cut above the knee like the cut against Fulham – Rooney has opted for Freddie Roach to bring his cuts man on to the Podgy Rooney Team. Hatton is said alleged (rumor again) to  be negotiating a major new sponsor deal with Team Columbia Cocaine. Ricky Hatton is as millions know a lousy fighter but he is a master at hype and promotion and seems to have pulled off a major pre fight coup as he has sent Prince Harry 20 free ringside seats. To close on more pending sponsorship deals – Frank Warren on behalf of Podgy Rooney is rumored to be in advanced negotiations for the ‘Podgy Man’ to be sponsored by Sir Alex Ferguson Bloodstock Racing.

We do know three facts that are accurate everyday in The Sun – The Name – The Date and The Price! – The rest like our own rubric here is likely to be pure baloney…

Want to read all the latest sports and celeb gossip look no farther than…

Wayne Rooney to leave Manchester United…

EPL Mid Week Round Up for Weekend August 25 – 26 2012

So the second weekend of the new EPL – English Premier League is over and here is a brief rundown on all the results and action

EPL Saturday August 25, 2012

Swansea City 3-0 West Ham United
Not much to say in favor of WHU 2-0 down at the break, then Swansea made it three and the game was all over leaving Big Sam and the West Ham squad a long journey back to London – time to dwell on where it all went wrong. A stellar start for new Swansea team boss Michael Laudrup maximum points six from six!

Aston Villa 1-3 Everton
Everton are firing on all cylinders two games two wins, one scalp being the mighty Manchester United. Great start for the Toffees who do not usually start a new EPL season on fire. Aston Villa look tired already only two games into the campaign looking set for a long hard season where success looks to be avoiding relegation at best.

Chelsea 2-0 Newcastle United
Chelsea have maintained the same form that saw them crowned Champions of Europe when they hoisted the Champions League Cup 2012. Now they have new arrival Eden Hazzard who looks and plays like a super star. CFC have played three and clear at the top of the EPL with 9 points. To the rest the chase is on…

Norwich City  1-1 Queens Park Rangers
Norwich a side that have all the signs of being a mid table none event team were up against QPR managed by the hapless Mark Hughes. For the five people in  the UK who may be interested the score was a one all draw. QPR are odds on for relegation and that will surely duly happen minus Mark Hughes who will get fired around Xmas and the new year time 2013.

Southampton 0-2 Wigan Athletic
It is tough in the EPL when newly promoted and you come up against a lively team like Wigan Athletic who showed the Saints that they are in for a tough season especially if all teams play like the visitors in this match they were set up well, creative as the two goals showed and had dare we say the word a hint that they have wee bit of class in the side. On this form one can expect to see Wigan Athletic sitting pretty in the middle of the EPL table. As for Southampton it will be a long hard season and the Championship trapdoor will be open wide, on this form the Saints have it all to do

Tottenham Hotspur 1-1 West Bromwich Albion
New Spurs boss clueless AVB – Andres Villas- Boas confirmed why he is hot bookies favorite for the first EPL manager to be sacked! Why Not? The bookies have it just right at odds of 1/2  as 1 point from 2 games means 19 points from 38 games which is automatic relegation!

EPL Sunday August 26, 2012

Liverpool 2-2 Manchester City
Well two teams who often deliver more BS than football but this game kept the fans happy as four goals were scored in the game. Two each so I suppose both sides will feel a point each is a point gained rather than 2 points lost. Liverpool on paper look like a very ordinary squad no change that a poor team. As for City I doubt whether they will be able to live with Chelsea and Manchester United this year and they will do well to finish the year third in the EPL

Stoke City 0-0 Arsenal
Britannia Ground home of Stoke City is a fortress backed up by maybe the most vocal supporters in the EPL. So visitors Arsenal never looked  like scoring and Stoke were not up for breaking out and leaving gaps that may have given the Gunners goal scoring opportunities. Stoke always line up the same way at home for all the visiting teams except the top four they will go for a win. But when the likes of Arsenal – Manchester United – Chelsea and any other team in the top four come to the Potteries. Stoke will park the bus and settle for a draw which they see as a point won.

Reading v Sunderland – Game Postponed

EPL Mid Week Round Up for Weekend August 25 – 26 2012..

The best signing of the 2012 EPL close season is the sensational news that Robin van Persie is set to leave Arsenal and join the mighty Manchester United

The Old Trafford terraces will go wild about Robin van Persie
ManU Persie Tra-la-la la-la he is Robin players and scoring goals Tra-la-la la-la
ManU Persie Tra-la-la la-la he is Robin players and scoring goals Tra-la-la la-la

This is a stellar hallmark signing by super shrewd coaching legend SAF – Sir Alex Ferguson he buys in ManU Persie for cash payment of £22 million pounds then hands RVP an £18 million pounds pay deal so the package rounds off at a tidy £40 million pounds. But here is the kicker the guy is cheap at this price because if injury free OT get 3 seasons out of the 29 year old that is only just over £7 million a year for a player that will have notched in at least 60 goals plus in that time. £7 million pounds a year a lot of money to some but pin money to Manchester United as for his wages that is the going rate for top EPL players. The real upside is that goals scored often converts into matches won in both the EPL and the Champions League

However moving on to the benefits of the deal for Arsenal and the wily guru Arsene Wenger, RVP wanted out and Wenger always needs money and this way Arsenal bag £22 million pounds for a player with only one year left on his playing contract – so for the first player to be sold by Arsenal to Manchester United since Viv Anderson in 1987 this is a good deal all round both for the Gunners and the Red Devils.

Anyone think this article is biased and that I am a Manchester United supporter – dead right I am!

Robin ManU Persie Signs On At Old Trafford…

The mighty magnetic lure of one of the world’s premier sports brands Manchester United is so powerful and overwhelming that the fastest man in the world Usain Bolt wants to get signed on at Old Trafford only a day after winning Olympic Gold Medal in the men’s 100 meter race.

Here is what Usain Bolt has to say about Manchester United – quote – “People think I am joking. But if Alex Ferguson called me up and said, ‘OK let’s do this, come and have a trial’, it would be impossible for me to say No.  – more -“I would not take up the challenge if I didn’t think I was good enough. I am a very accomplished player and know I could make a difference.  – more -  “I would be the fastest player in the team — but I can play as well.”  – Attribution clip The Sun UK.

Brazil superstar Lucas Moura appears likely as one of SAF best signings of the 2012 close season. The exciting 19 year old midfield maestro looks set for Old Trafford although his agents seem to playing a game of brinkmanship at this time. But very soon all the hype and BS will settle down at which point – SAF – Sir Alex Ferguson will pounce and close out the signing of Lucas Moura. Even today the Sao Paolo player is being linked with PSG – Paris Saint Germain all of which seems like typical UK tabloid gossip and rumors

RVP – Robin van Persie looks destined to leave Arsenal and join the reds. The transfer saga of RVP is a long drawn out affair but super shrewd negotiator SAF looks likely to convince the Gunners to sell the Dutch striker for £20 Million pounds a lot of money, but a lot less than the £40 million Arsenal were looking for. At the twenty price this looks good business for the Old Trafford giants of EPL football as RVP has just past his 29th birthday and maybe another three seasons at the top in the EPL is all that can be guaranteed. He may well go on to be another Ryan Giggs and play top class football for another ten years, but there are no guarantees this will happen so £20 Million pounds to sign up Robin van Persie to Manchester United is a fair price.

Bolt – Moura – RVP All Linked To Manchester United…

The rivalry between Manchester City and Manchester United is not just on the pitch it audaciously over flows in to everyday life much to the amusement of Liam Gallagher who has Wayne Rooney in his sights!  The ex Oasis star who is an avid City supporter had this to say about Wayne Rooney – quote – ‘A balloon with a Weetabix crushed on top’ in reference to the United striker’s hair transplant.

What a hilarious comment allayed with a great commercial plug for Weetabix. So far as we know  Rooney has not bounced back at Liam with a ‘Ferret looking through a Lavatory Brush’ type retort.

The full quote from the Beady Eye frontman Liam Gallagher was – quote -  “I’m not having it. He looks like a f***ing balloon with a f***ing Weetabix crushed on top. – more – “He’s better off as a skinhead, isn’t he?”

Back to Weetabix good healthy food that may or may not stop ones hair from falling out or receding that fast as one welcomes a new ‘Yul Brynner’ look.

Regarding Wayne Rooney one has to say that his new look hairstyle makes him very  similar to a ‘ Walnut Whip Slapped atop a Lightbulb’

This story is not yet receding and will likely run into the winter when one is laid on the rug watching the EPL game when up pops Wayne Rooney with a wig of a goal!

Wayne Rooney is a first class header of the ball and has scored many EPL goals with headers! Some say he acquired this gift because when he was growing up he always ate Weetabix for breakfast! Seems like Liam Gallagher was not aware of this fact when he made the Weetabix jibe at Wayne Rooney!

Liam Gallagher and Wayne Rooney Having a Rug of a Time…

Rotten apples usually all lie in the bottom of the box and that is certainly an appropriate place for football agent Kia Joorabchian and two smelly apples that he is agent for the braindead Carlos Tevez and the hapless clueless QPR manager the serial loser Mark Hughes. The way that these three conduct their business and carry on in public is disgraceful!

The latest sham from these greedy individuals is for Mark Hughes to offer to take Carlos Tevez on loan from Manchester City to QPR for the rest of the EPL season. Then to compound the felony Hughes has dressed up the deal with the charade that Carlos Tevez playing for QPR will help to ensure that Manchester City will be able to be crowned the EPL Champions come May 2012.

The QPR manager Mark Hughes said: “If he did come, he would be playing against teams and possibly help City win the league.”

Baloney – total BS – this is just a way for you all to make some money to further line the pockets of Kia Joorabchian – Carlos Tevez and Mark Hughes!

Of course for the uninformed Kia Joorabchian is also agent for Mark Hughes – so it looks like they are all p**sing in the same pot!

EPL Football is rotten and right at the top are rotten apples Kia Joorabchian – Carlos Tevez and Mark Hughes!

Carlos Tevez Agent Kia Joorabchian More Faces than a Town Hall Clock…

Manchester United 5 – Wigan 0

There is one undisputable fact about footballers in the EPL – English Premier League some are steady reliable journeymen. They play week in week out ‘Steady as a Rock’ never letting the team down yet never grabbing the headlines. Then you have the top players whose best form comes and goes, experts say ‘Form is variable – Class is Permanent’ this is the category they fit into like the great veteran Manchester United superstar Ryan Giggs – John Terry the Chelsea center back – Ashley Cole another Blues player who is one of the best full backs in the world – Joey Barton fans love him or hate him but he is without doubt one of the best midfield players playing in the EPL today.

Then you have the rare breed the flair players the players that can do unbelievable things with ball, play the game so skillfully in a relaxed manner – that to watch they make football look easy! They are special and only a few come along every generation. In 2011 Spurs have one in the mercurial Luka Modric who plays football like a dream as he jinks – twists and glides over the turf with the ball under such tight control one may think it is tethered to his feet – such are the amazing skills of this wonderfully creative midfield genius.

Then one has to travel up north to Manchester to find a striker – a goal poacher extraordinaire – the laconic goalmouth magician Dimitar Berbatov. Now this genius is a luxury that only the very rich clubs can afford to keep on the payroll, because they do not play often – not because they are injured – but as in the case of Dimitar Berbatov who only wants to play in the box and has a reluctance to play and work for the rest of the team. But when guys like Dimitar Berbatov play they are electric like on Boxing Day when Dimitar Berbatov scored a magical hat-trick as United hammered a 10-man Wigan Athletic side 5-0

Berbatov hits Stunning Boxing Day Hat Trick v Wigan…

It is well known that when he arrived in Manchester as a teenager that when football superstar Cristiano Ronaldo was not playing football, folks that know him say he has a wicked eye always on the lookout for ‘Eye Candy’ ie beautiful women. When he played for Manchester United Cristiano Ronaldo was known as a ‘Man About Town’ often seen with Wayne Rooney and others in the WAG infested night clubs in and around Manchester and the nearby towns.

Then he got the £80million dream move to Spain to join the La Liga giants the mighty Real Madrid where on the pitch he has been a revelation scoring 86 goals in 79 appearances.

However off the pitch with the ‘Eye Candy’ Cristiano Ronaldo has ditched his Manchester style bed hopping and for over a year now has been dating super WAG top Russian supermodel Irina Shayk!

Irina Shayk – Ozami Tale of the Tape
• Birth Name = Irina Shaykhlislamova aka Irina Shayk
• Date of Birth = January 6, 1986 ;
• Place of Birth = Yemanzhelinsk, Russia ;
• Height = 5′ 10” (178 cm) ;
• Hair Color = Light Brown ;
• Eye Color = Green ;
• Weight = 110 lbs (50 kg) ;
• Measurements and vital stats = 34-23-35 US; (86.5-58-88) EU ;
• Dress Size = 4 (US) 34 (EU) ;
• Shoe Size = 7

This girl Irina Shayk is sensational and in our opinion wins hands down as the Ozami WAG of the Year 2011.

Has Cristiano Ronaldo Bagged in Irina Shayk the WAG of the Year…

Liverpool moved to the top of the Premiership yesterday in a dramatic way. Yossi Benayoun scored an injury-time winner which Fulham could not respond to. It looks as if the game was going to end in draw if not for Benayoun’s stoppage time goal.

Liverpool are perhaps temporarily ahead of Manchester United by two points however Manchester United has two games in hand, if Man U win both games they will move to the top by 4 points ahead of Liverpool.
Before the dramatic win, Andrea Dossena hit the bar twice – each time with a header, Xabi Alonso volleyed against the bar and Fernando Torres dragged a shot against the post.

You can discuss Liverpool’s win and other sports related issues at Ozami Sports forum.