Ozami – Music, Celebrity, Sports Entertainment Blog

EPL Mid Week Round Up for Weekend August 25 – 26 2012

So the second weekend of the new EPL – English Premier League is over and here is a brief rundown on all the results and action

EPL Saturday August 25, 2012

Swansea City 3-0 West Ham United
Not much to say in favor of WHU 2-0 down at the break, then Swansea made it three and the game was all over leaving Big Sam and the West Ham squad a long journey back to London – time to dwell on where it all went wrong. A stellar start for new Swansea team boss Michael Laudrup maximum points six from six!

Aston Villa 1-3 Everton
Everton are firing on all cylinders two games two wins, one scalp being the mighty Manchester United. Great start for the Toffees who do not usually start a new EPL season on fire. Aston Villa look tired already only two games into the campaign looking set for a long hard season where success looks to be avoiding relegation at best.

Chelsea 2-0 Newcastle United
Chelsea have maintained the same form that saw them crowned Champions of Europe when they hoisted the Champions League Cup 2012. Now they have new arrival Eden Hazzard who looks and plays like a super star. CFC have played three and clear at the top of the EPL with 9 points. To the rest the chase is on…

Norwich City  1-1 Queens Park Rangers
Norwich a side that have all the signs of being a mid table none event team were up against QPR managed by the hapless Mark Hughes. For the five people in  the UK who may be interested the score was a one all draw. QPR are odds on for relegation and that will surely duly happen minus Mark Hughes who will get fired around Xmas and the new year time 2013.

Southampton 0-2 Wigan Athletic
It is tough in the EPL when newly promoted and you come up against a lively team like Wigan Athletic who showed the Saints that they are in for a tough season especially if all teams play like the visitors in this match they were set up well, creative as the two goals showed and had dare we say the word a hint that they have wee bit of class in the side. On this form one can expect to see Wigan Athletic sitting pretty in the middle of the EPL table. As for Southampton it will be a long hard season and the Championship trapdoor will be open wide, on this form the Saints have it all to do

Tottenham Hotspur 1-1 West Bromwich Albion
New Spurs boss clueless AVB – Andres Villas- Boas confirmed why he is hot bookies favorite for the first EPL manager to be sacked! Why Not? The bookies have it just right at odds of 1/2  as 1 point from 2 games means 19 points from 38 games which is automatic relegation!

EPL Sunday August 26, 2012

Liverpool 2-2 Manchester City
Well two teams who often deliver more BS than football but this game kept the fans happy as four goals were scored in the game. Two each so I suppose both sides will feel a point each is a point gained rather than 2 points lost. Liverpool on paper look like a very ordinary squad no change that a poor team. As for City I doubt whether they will be able to live with Chelsea and Manchester United this year and they will do well to finish the year third in the EPL

Stoke City 0-0 Arsenal
Britannia Ground home of Stoke City is a fortress backed up by maybe the most vocal supporters in the EPL. So visitors Arsenal never looked  like scoring and Stoke were not up for breaking out and leaving gaps that may have given the Gunners goal scoring opportunities. Stoke always line up the same way at home for all the visiting teams except the top four they will go for a win. But when the likes of Arsenal – Manchester United – Chelsea and any other team in the top four come to the Potteries. Stoke will park the bus and settle for a draw which they see as a point won.

Reading v Sunderland – Game Postponed

EPL Mid Week Round Up for Weekend August 25 – 26 2012..

The rivalry between Manchester City and Manchester United is not just on the pitch it audaciously over flows in to everyday life much to the amusement of Liam Gallagher who has Wayne Rooney in his sights!  The ex Oasis star who is an avid City supporter had this to say about Wayne Rooney – quote – ‘A balloon with a Weetabix crushed on top’ in reference to the United striker’s hair transplant.

What a hilarious comment allayed with a great commercial plug for Weetabix. So far as we know  Rooney has not bounced back at Liam with a ‘Ferret looking through a Lavatory Brush’ type retort.

The full quote from the Beady Eye frontman Liam Gallagher was – quote -  “I’m not having it. He looks like a f***ing balloon with a f***ing Weetabix crushed on top. – more – “He’s better off as a skinhead, isn’t he?”

Back to Weetabix good healthy food that may or may not stop ones hair from falling out or receding that fast as one welcomes a new ‘Yul Brynner’ look.

Regarding Wayne Rooney one has to say that his new look hairstyle makes him very  similar to a ‘ Walnut Whip Slapped atop a Lightbulb’

This story is not yet receding and will likely run into the winter when one is laid on the rug watching the EPL game when up pops Wayne Rooney with a wig of a goal!

Wayne Rooney is a first class header of the ball and has scored many EPL goals with headers! Some say he acquired this gift because when he was growing up he always ate Weetabix for breakfast! Seems like Liam Gallagher was not aware of this fact when he made the Weetabix jibe at Wayne Rooney!

Liam Gallagher and Wayne Rooney Having a Rug of a Time…

These last two years and more it has been very difficult to keep up to speed with how Manchester City striker Mario Balotelli will play on match day. Namely will he turn on the magic score maybe two goals and get the man of the match award! That happens sometimes but in other games he plays, but may as well have not turned up!

But off the field he always turns up and indeed most of the time seems to pose for the paparazzi in an erect position, we suppose this is due to his burgeoning record as a lothario or as someone like Wayne Rooney would say in Manchester – quote – ‘Mario Balotelli is a serial – Knob Hound!’

We have some breaking news just in from Ibiza the Spanish Mediterranean island playground of the rich and famous  a mere ferry ride away from the sun kissed Costa Blanca. Mario Balotelli has just pulled a  new lover, she is sizzling hot French model Vanessa Lawrens! Now the question being asked around Manchester is will Mario Balotelli be bringing the super sexy Vanessa Lawrens to get Mario-ed in Manchester.

She has all the attributes that will keep Mario alert and erect! Watch this space for more news with this sports celeb gossip! At this moment in time Vanessa Lawrens is still a model but if she lands in Manchester then the audacious title of ‘WAG’ will be slapped on her courtesy of The Sun tabloid.

Is Vanessa Lawrens on her way to get Mario-ed in Manchester…

Legend
Vanessa Lawrens – meaning – 23 year old French fashion model from Lomme in the north of  France has modeled for Gucci – Chanel – Adidas and many more leading fashion brands and houses  – Attribution to Ozami.Net

Well as one would expect there was a whole boat load of contenders for the ‘EPL Incompetence Award of 2011’

The list is almost endless starting with Alan Pardew boss at Newcastle United who is similar to a Yorkshire Pudding all soft and covered in onion gravy. EPL players hundreds are in the shuffle but arguably standing alone as the ‘Prat of the Year’ is Manchester City want away striker Carlos Tevez. EPL Managers a heap of no hopers but right at the bottom where he belongs is Blackburn Rovers boss Steve Kean – who should be called the ‘Great Survivor’ but he is still in a job thanks to the winners of the ‘EPL Incompetence Award of 2011’ the unbelievably incompetent owners of Blackburn Rovers the Indian company Venky’s.

Runners up take your pick from Joey Barton – John Terry – Mario Balotelli – Ashley Cole – Mike Ashley – Peter Crouch – Luis Suarez and so on the names just keep rolling off the keyboard.

EPL Incompetence Award of 2011…