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View Full Version : Why men die first and women live longer!


jack schitt
05-31-2008, 10:02 AM
This is a question that has gone unanswered for centuries, but, now we know. It requires a bit of explanation, first:

If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race ... you're a male chauvinist. If you stay home and do the housework ... you're a pansy.

If you work too hard ... there's never any time for her. If you don't work enough ..... you're a good-for-nothing bum.

If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay ... this is exploitation. If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay ..... you should get off your lazy behind and find something better.

If you get a promotion ahead of her ... that is favouritism. If she gets a job ahead of you ..... its equal opportunity.

If you mention how nice she looks ... its sexual harassment. If you keep quiet ..... its male indifference.

If you cry ... you're a wimp. If you don't . you're an insensitive bastard. If you make a decision without consulting her ..... you're a chauvinist.

If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman. If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy . that's domination. If SHE asks you ... it's a favor.

If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear ..... you're a pervert. If you don't . you're gay.

If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape ... you're sexist. If you don't ... you're unromantic.

If you try to keep yourself in shape .. you're vain. If you don't ... you're a slob.

If you buy her flowers .... you're after something. If you don't ... you're not thoughtful.

If you're proud of your achievements ... you're full of yourself. If you don't ... you're not ambitious.

If she has a headache ... she's tired. If you have a headache . you don't love her anymore.

If you want it too often ... you're oversexed. If you don't .... there must be someone else.


Why do men die first.......???

BECAUSE THEY WANT TO.......!!!!!!!

marcell1002
05-31-2008, 10:50 AM
Truer words have never been spoken!!!!

xbox360gurl70s
06-24-2008, 10:07 PM
I also saw in more forums that men have dangerous jobs that women does and high risk activities which make the mortality rate go up higher. but you know what women just kick men's ass 's all the time that's why they die so fast
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marcell1002
06-25-2008, 03:45 PM
Yeah - We pray for death!

MarcusMaximus
06-25-2008, 11:42 PM
why do we men die before our wives do?

because we WANT to :twisted:

nobody32
07-04-2008, 02:43 AM
*Quote from a comedian*---

_Remember when you were saying your wedding vows and you said '..until death do us part'?

You will soon realize that you were setting a goal...

jack schitt
07-09-2008, 07:46 AM
YAAYYYYYYYYYYY I'm getting a divorce!

nobody32
07-09-2008, 12:01 PM
Really?

Durgdul
07-09-2008, 02:56 PM
YAAYYYYYYYYYYY I'm getting a divorce!

I thought you were already divorced Jackie?

I remember posts from a few years ago that gave that impression.

or has this been an ongoing thing, that has just now reached critical mass?

anyway I am sorry to hear about this, and wish you luck.

MarcusMaximus
07-10-2008, 12:18 AM
YAAYYYYYYYYYYY Jackie's getting a divorce!


(again - I thought it was a done deal like Durgs said - - - so what half of New Zealand are you gonna get, Miss Jackie???)

jack schitt
07-12-2008, 08:16 AM
oh I left him about 18months ago Durgs - it takes two years to get divorced from the time you separate legally over here.
Well it's better than waiting till death to part isn't it!?!? that was my point really LOL

MarcusMaximus
07-12-2008, 12:43 PM
18 months?? wow.

so - like no sex for 18 months??

that's kinda harsh, ain't it??

joyvy67
07-12-2008, 06:12 PM
18 month.....oouuhhhhhh!!!!.......that's harsh :!: :!: :!:

jack schitt
07-13-2008, 01:31 AM
18 months?? wow.

so - like no sex for 18 months??

that's kinda harsh, ain't it??

who said anything about no sex? Geesh what am I? a NUN???
http://www.tanoryland.com/images/Betty_nun1.jpg

MarcusMaximus
07-13-2008, 02:27 AM
Oh my God

Jackie's a Nun!!!!! :O

stubbed_toe
07-22-2008, 12:26 PM
If the man dies first, he's a jerk for leaving her alone. If the woman dies first, the man's a jerk for going on without her.

dirtybombz
08-25-2008, 05:12 PM
how simple and honest a mans life can be told.