Queries suck ass

[ToddB]

I've completed the second draft of my first novel. I've started to send out query letters, and let me tell you, this process sucks ass. Big, fat, stinky, hairy, sweaty ass.

I understand that an agent is a busy person who isn't just there to read queries from people they do not represent, they are also putting 100% effort behind the people they do represent. However, it still stings to get a basic, run-of-the-mill form rejection.

Would it kill someone to take 10-25 seconds to read the one paragraph I take to give them a brief synopsis of the novel, then 2 seconds to hit the "reply" button on their email program (all of the queries I have sent out have been email, because those agents prefer e-queries), then 30 seconds to one minute to say, "Good story idea, but not what I am currently looking for..." or "Your story sucks, go back to doing whatever it was that you were doing..."?

Maybe I am just a bitter aspiring writer waiting for someone to actually say yes. Oh, and hoping I am not someone lik Dennis Lehane who wrote seven unpublished novels before finally getting one accepted.

Anyway, I just thought I'd come here and vent...

[MarcusMaximus]

vent away, Todd - vent away. I too, have some experience with rejection letters from publishers. Mine were the written kind and - I dunno - - I think I would almost prefer e-mailed rejection as that I can delete them almost off hand - while a written form rejection letter can sit on a desk for awhile.

Good luck - - I've read your stuff and I think you'll get published....

[ToddB]

Max,

I have saved the four rejection emails I've gotten so far. I even printed the first one out and have it taped to the wall near where I write. I'm saving every single one of them. One day, when I'm on the best-seller list, I want to have those letters sitting around to show people that "all-knowing agents" are still dumb as shit.

By the way, Max, with your permission, when I do get published I plan on including you in the acknowledgements. Do you prefer to be anonymous, refered to as Max, or what? Or do you not want to be in there at all?

Your choice, dude.

[MarcusMaximus]

you know my real name - - use that one. you know - - in this day and age, you could self publish your work.....

get a large enough following and then get picked up by a publisher....


Just a thought :)

[jack schitt]

I agree with Max... that'll put you in control of everything to do with the book too - you can make it look how YOU want it to - you can promote how YOU wanna promote it too...

[ToddB]

Jack and Max,

You are both right. I've looked into self publishing recently. The only thing that is a drawback is the price. A couple of sites have $999 as their top price (with $199 as the lowest, but that is just for people who want to give it away to family), but that doesn't include editing, help with some of the marketing, etc. I did find one site that lists it's top price at $12,999, and that includes EVERYTHING. I just have to find something that fits my budget and will allow me to market the book adequately. Also, I have to have all of you guys on ozami to buy a copy. ;-)

It'll be autographed, of course.

[MarcusMaximus]

I've had a preview of this book - - - I'd buy it. You know, Allison Brennan (http://www.allisonbrennan.com/index2.html) used to hang out here at Ozami - before the Hack - and you might want to get some advice from her....

I'll email her and see what's what.....

[ToddB]

Thanks Max, I'll take a look at her site. Give her my email if she is game to help.