....Joke...

[joyvy67]

Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.

Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy’s lap.

[joyvy67]

A Young Aussie was enjoying his first night in Rome drinking cappuccino at a pavement cafe when a pretty girl sat beside him.

”Hello,” he said. “Do you understand English?”

”Only a little,” she answered.

”How much?” he asked.

”Fifty dollars,” she replied.

[joyvy67]

A farmer was in a bar drinking and looking all depressed. His friend asked him why he was looking depressed and he replied, “Some things you just can’t explain. This morning I was outside milking. As soon as the bucket was full the cow kicked it down with her left foot so I tied her left foot to a pole.I began to fill up the bucket again and she kicked it down with her right foot, so I tied her right to a pole too. As soon as I finished milkin’ her again she knocked down the bucket with her tail and I took off my belt and tied up her tail with my belt.
As I was tying up her tail, my pants dropped down, then my wife came out and well, trust me, some things you just can’t explain!

[marcell1002]

A farmer was in a bar drinking and looking all depressed. His friend asked him why he was looking depressed and he replied, “Some things you just can’t explain. This morning I was outside milking. As soon as the bucket was full the cow kicked it down with her left foot so I tied her left foot to a pole.I began to fill up the bucket again and she kicked it down with her right foot, so I tied her right to a pole too. As soon as I finished milkin’ her again she knocked down the bucket with her tail and I took off my belt and tied up her tail with my belt.
As I was tying up her tail, my pants dropped down, then my wife came out and well, trust me, some things you just can’t explain!

ROFLMAO!!!!!!! - Sure, Was this a aussie farmer by chance? - Jokes

[nobody32]

I found one...

A 90-year old man said to his doctor, "I've never felt better. I have an 18-year old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do you think about that?"

The doctor considered his question for a minute and then said, "I have an elderly friend who is a hunter and never misses a season. One day when he was going out in a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his umbrella instead of his gun. When he got to the Creek, he saw a rabbit sitting beside the stream. He raised his umbrella and went, 'bang, bang' and the rabbit fell dead. What do you think of that?"

The 90-year-old said, "I'd say somebody else killed that rabbit."

The doctor replied, "My point exactly."

[joyvy67]

A very tired nurse walks into a bank, totally exhausted after an 18-hour shift.

Preparing to write a check, she pulls a rectal thermometer out of her purse and tries to write with it.
When she realizes her mistake, she looks at the flabbergasted teller and without missing a beat, she says:

"Well, that's great....that's just great.... Some asshole's got my pen!"

[nobody32]

Typical Man!
Why I fired my Secretary.

Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning.
I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say,
"Happy Birthday!", and possibly have a small present for me. As it turned out,
she barely said good morning, let alone " Happy Birthday."

I thought...
Well, that's marriage for you, but the kids... They will remember. My kids came
bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn't say a word. So when I left for the office,
I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent. As I walked into my office, my secretary
Jane said, "Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday!"

It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered. I worked until one o'clock, when Jane knocked on my door and said, "You know, It's such a beautiful day outside,
and it is your Birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me."
I said, "Thanks, Jane, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go !"
We went to lunch. But we didn't go where we normally would go. She chose instead at a quiet bistro with a private table. We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously. On the way back to the office, Jane said, "You know, It's such a
beautiful day... We don't need to go straight back to the office, Do We?"
I responded, "I guess not. What do you have in mind ?" She said, "Let's drop by my apartment, it's just around the corner."

After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said, " Boss, if you don't mind,
I'm going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I'll be right back." "Ok." I nervously replied. She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake ...

Followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers,all
singing "Happy Birthday".


And I just sat there...



On the couch...






Naked.

[marcell1002]

Ooohhhhh - That is just fucking painfull!!!!!!

[orod]

Hahahaha! I love this one.

[joyvy67]

There was this couple that had been married for 20 years. Every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the light.

Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous. She figured she would break him out of this crazy habit. So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned on the lights. She looked down. and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated leisure device... a vibrator! Soft, wonderful and larger than a real one.

She went completely ballistic. "You impotent bastard," She screamed at him, "how could you be lying to me all of these years? You better explain yourself!"

The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly: "I'll explain the toy . . . you explain the kids."

[joyvy67]

A man wearing a balaclava bursts into a sperm bank with a shot gun. "Open the safe!" he yells at the girl behind the counter.

"But we're not a real bank," replies the girl. "This is a sperm bank, we don't hold money."

"Don't argue! Just open the safe or I'll blow your head off!" he shouts. She obliges and opens the safe door.

"Take one of the bottles and drink it!" he says.

"But it's full of sperm," the girl replies nervously.

"Don't argue, just drink it," he says. She takes off the cap and gulps it down.

"Take out another one and drink it too!" he demands. The girl drinks another one.

Suddenly, the guy pulls off the balaclava and to the girl's amazement it's her husband.

"See, it’s not that difficult is it?" he says.

[joyvy67]

A husband and wife were sitting watching TV when he turned to his wife and said.......

'Honey, tell me something that will make me Happy and Sad all at the same time.'

She said, 'You have the biggest dick of all your friends.'

[temi]

This is funny, needless to ask how the rest of the conversation went that evening :)


A husband and wife were sitting watching TV when he turned to his wife and said.......

'Honey, tell me something that will make me Happy and Sad all at the same time.'

She said, 'You have the biggest dick of all your friends.'

[marcell1002]

Hey temi! Long time no see!

[joyvy67]

Hi temi...;)

[temi]

Hello gents, thanks for the warm welcome. I hope to be move active this days :)

[arnold2008]

man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee".
The husband said, " You are in charge of the cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."
Wife replies, "No you should do it, and besides it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."
Husband replies, " I can't believe that, show me."
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and shows him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says:
"HEBREWS"
________________________________________________
Arnold
Our mission is to provide high quality end to end solutions to the BPO segment in a manner that will improve the operational efficiency while reducing the cost of the services to the client.
4thdimension1@gmail.com

[MarcusMaximus]

HEBREWS - - ha!! NO Kidding!!!

Good One. :D