Shortening?

[jack schitt]

A man is showering up in a locker room with his buddy when he notices his friend is very well endowed.

'Damn Bob, you're hung!' Jim exclaims.

'I wasn't always this impressive, I had to work for it.'

'What do you mean?' Jim asked.

'Well, every day for the past two years I've spent an hour each night rubbing it with butter. I know it sounds crazy but it actually made it grow 4 inches! You should try it.' Jim agrees and the two say good bye.

A few months later the two are in the same locker room and Bob asks Jim how his situation was.

Jim replied, 'I did what you said, Bob, but I've actually gotten smaller! I lost two inches already!'

'Did you do everything I told you? An hour each day with butter?'

'Well, I was out of butter, so I've been using Crisco.'


Wait for it .........




Wait ..............






'Crisco!!?' Bob exclaimed!! 'Damn it, Jim, Crisco is shortening!'

MORAL: You gotta follow the recipe!!!

[jack schitt]

You gotta love the Marines...


Last Tuesday, as President Bush got
off the Helicopter in front of the White House,
he was carrying a baby piglet under each arm.

The squared away Marine guard snaps to attention, salutes
and says,"Nice pigs, Sir."

The President replies "These are not pigs... these are
authentic Arkansas Razorback Hogs. I got one for
Senator Hillary Clinton, and I got one for
Speaker of The House Nancy Pelosi."

The squared away Marine again snaps to attention, Salutes
and says, "Excellent trade, Sir."

[MarcusMaximus]

actually that last one was originally a President Clinton joke - not a George Dibya....

Still pretty funny. :D