So the deal was done the cheapskate French Celeb Magazine Closer released some topless pictures of Kate Middleton. Up went the magazine sales – the website went manic on viral and in rolled the money to line the coffers of French Celeb Magazine Closer.

Three words to say :-

OUT OF ORDER!

But no amount of complaining will change society worldwide wherein all that matters to the majority is – how much money will it make -  and how will I or the company I represent make out of the deal!

The answer to that question in the case of French Celeb Magazine Closer is lots they have now completed the first release batch of topless pictures of Kate Middleton. Now they will back off for a while deal with all legal issues piling in – then they will get fined a nominal amount which is chunk change as per French law.

Then wait for it – this comes next – the French Celeb Magazine Closer will then release a second batch of topless pictures of Kate Middleton, that they have stockpiled as they planned ahead for round two of this tawdry and lowlife way of making money using private pictures of a very accomplished and beautiful young lady the Duchess of Cambridge

Topless Images Background Profile
LA Tines attribution clip

Topless photos of Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge, taken with a long lens last week as the couple vacationed at a royal relative’s secluded home in Provence, France, are  earning the French magazine that published them a royal lawsuit.

St. James’s Palace said Friday in a statement that “legal proceedings for breach of privacy have been commenced today in France” by the royal couple.

Kate and Prince William were told about the pictures over breakfast before visiting a mosque in Malaysia, where they’re on tour. A source told ABC News that they were initially “saddened” but then became shocked and angry.

“The photos we selected are by no means degrading,” the editor of Closer France said in French in a statement, also clarifying that that decision to run the pics had nothing to do with the UK incarnation of Closer magazine. “They show a young couple on vacation.” – Attribution to The Los Angeles Times

The French UK and USA Press Will Publish Anything as Long as it Makes Money…

86 New Words in 2012 Collins Dictionary and dare we say some are already played out and old hat. Like the overhyped ‘Mummy Porn’ from the book that got lucky for some obscure reasons and went viral with record sales of ‘Fifty Shades Of Grey’ by EL James the book that prophesized was going to teach the world about sex and bondage only for the reader to find out that EL James was so confused about what she was writing about that it became apparent that in reality she knew next to nothing about ‘Mummy Porn’

But luck was in for the mentally challenged EL James the sales rocketed and she banked millions of pounds. Which is great for her considering she would not know ‘Mummy Porn’ even if it hit her in the face!

More new words in 2012 Collins Dictionary :-

•    Floordrobe – meaning -  a pile of clothes left on the floor of a room.

•    Amazeballs – meaning -  a slang word for giving approval to something.

•    Frenemy – meaning – a person who is considered as both a friend and a rival.

•    Shabby Chic  – meaning – a style of interior design that uses worn or distressed furnishings to achieve a “romantic effect”.

•    Tiger Mother – meaning – a very strict mother who demands that her children reach a high level of achievement.

•    Locog – meaning – London Organising Committee of the Olympic and Paralympic Games.

•    BBM – meaning -  BlackBerry Messenger.

•    Marra  – meaning -  a northern English word for “mate”.

Plenty more but these few caught our eye!

Back to the word at the top under the rubric ‘Mummy Porn’ must be the sexiest  thing that has ever to EL James as for sure she has never experienced sex with a Mummy! The mind boggles but hey thanks goes to 2012 Collins Dictionary for including that loser of a word

86 New Words in 2012 Collins Dictionary…

Some celeb and gossip news is boring, most is just common or garden trash talk. But we are not finished yet we have the ridiculous a classic recent example is the noise that the UK gutter press published on Prince Harry in LV – Las Vegas.

Now this week the UK tabloids are doing their best to make a big sensational story alleging that a sexual affair has developed between footballer David Beckham and Welsh opera singer Katherine Jenkins.

This gossip is so unlikely and unreal that quite frankly, we are disgusted with all the media outlets that are running this story! With not a whiff or a glimpse of proof, moreover it is none of anyone’s business what these people get involved with in private.

I have only heard of Welsh opera singer Katherine Jenkins on a few occasions and she does not seem in the same ilk to the usual trashy people who feature in the tabloids like – WAGs – Reality TV Wasters – Busty Mouthy Tarts and the like…

Regarding David Beckham I have never liked the guy, but that is irrelevant the hard facts are that he has done a lot for football worldwide and lately seems to be giving something back by working for some good causes that benefit others less fortunate than him. On that basis he deserves some respect and credit…

So this is our take on the thoroughly distasteful rumors that have been written in the press about the alleged affair between footballer David Beckham and Welsh opera singer Katherine Jenkins.

To all the UK press you have no proof so please stop running these useless celeb gossip rumors and tales.

UK Press Time to Back Off David Beckham and Katherine Jenkins…

No recession in the on and off UK Lingerie sales sector as leading vendors see risqué underwear selling like ‘Hot Cakes’ or should that be like ‘Hot Bras and Pants’

The leading brands enjoying this upturn in risqué underwear sales are :-

• Newly open Victoria’s Secret Bond Street mega store where shoppers throng all day long buying all that is sexiest and skimpiest from arguably the world’s leading luxury lingerie brand
• Opening before Xmas just off Bond Street will see frisky knickers vendor – Agent Provocateur who also complement  the underwear gear with a stellar range  of lipsticks and scent

It is a close to the skin business that is recession proof and many see buying frisky knickers  as an investment that can be worn upon a chilly Autumn evening at home in UK. Namely get kitted out in the sexiest and skimpiest bra and pants that you have just bought from say Victoria’s Secret or Agent Provocateur wait until the TV gets boring which is the first second of Big Brother. Then hit remote off button and then just sit around wearing only your skimpiest bra and pants! That’s all you need to do girls the rest of the evening will be all action as your lover – boyfriend and/or husband takes over in search of the opening to the ‘Paradise of Love!’

We have a suggestion for girls in your twenties you can buy both for personal wear and buy for mum too -  this set is perfect. VS sells suspender belts and G-strings mothers are into this gear too. This ensemble has even been seen to unhinge men so much that  when watching the EPL match on the telly – the wife – girlfriend and/or lover enters the room  posing in suspender belts and G-strings.

The rest is UP2U but don’t miss out guys when this happens as this may be the best shag you get between now and Xmas

Remember girls the best place for frisky risqué lingerie is Victoria’s Secret  – Agent Provocateur!

Risque Pants and Bras Prove to be No Risk as UK Lingerie Sales Boom…

London – England and the UK – United Kingdom had a month to remember in August 2012 namely the stellar way the London 2012 Olympics was handled – managed and executed showcasing all that is best in Great Britain and deservedly getting nine points out of ten. In other words it would be hard to get higher marks for such an epic event. GB lost a point for the cack handed way the Government appointed security company G4S ran into manpower shortage crisis at the eleventh hour begging the Government to fill the manpower gaps by bringing in the armed forces personnel to provide security guards. Much to the surprise of everyone the armed forces moved in to help out and did an outstanding fill in job without a murmur of discontent and/or complaints. But the tenth point was lost as the G4S crisis should have never happened in the first place. A note to Brazil Olympics 2016 you will be hard pressed to handle such a huge sporting occasion and in doing so outperform the way UK executed the London 2012 Olympics.

A memorable spectacle and undoubtedly the best sporting event of 2012 bar none. This indeed was a well deserved high for London – for the UK Government and all the proud population of UK – United Kingdom. This was the high spot of the month of August for the whole of GB – Great Britain.

Then within days we embarrassingly saw the UK Government as the ‘Laughing Stock of the World’ as the Julian Assange fiasco hit the press one more time with the startling news that UK Police were charging the UK Government fifty thousand UK pounds a day to make sure that Julian Assange does not escape from the Embassy of Ecuador where he is holed up, while seeking political asylum. What a complete nonsense this turned out to be and the international press were quick to jump onto all the negativity of this diplomatic farce. The headlines simply laughed and mocked the way the UK Government have handled the Julian Assange case from the get go!

So to summarize the end of the month is with us and concludes in a way that only the British can do with ease that is ‘Turn a Silk Purse into a Pig’s Ear’ But the UK Government managed it with aplomb led by Foreign Secretary William Hague who it appears gave the UK Police the order to guard the Embassy of Ecuador with Julian Assange inside.

Leaving William Hague all alone with zero points out of ten for making sure that the UK were the ‘Laughing Stock of the World’ –  but then again you are never alone when you are ‘Hoisted by Your Own Petard!’

William Shakespeare could not have written a better storyline!

Reflections on how the United Kingdom fared in the Eyes of the World Press in August 2012…

So the US press through TMZ publish a set of images of the Royal Prince and blow the gaff on what Prince Harry has been up to in his private life. But let’s make it abundantly clear from the get go – it is nobody’s business what he does when he is either alone or out with friends. The story that is doing the viral rounds in the US media and the Internet is a blatant invasion of a young man’s privacy. Plus if anyone thinks he is unhappy with the press you bet he is, and rightly so the tardy exploitive way  they use a famous name a public figure, no less than a distinguished member of the British Royal Family and the younger son of Prince Charles. This blatant and abhorant  use  of some stolen images of Prince Harry have been wafted in front of potential advertisers and the publishers have taken the advertisers for millions of US dollars on the promise that the ads would run of the same page as the illegal images of Prince Harry.

Not only is this an intrusion on the laws of privacy it is criminal too. But and here is the Fait accompli this act of criminality will get a pass in the States – meaning – no action as it does not involve anyone American so the nod and the wink to TMZ is that is OK then but don’t get them too mad!

As for the trashy UK press they are running scared and have not run the Prince Harry images as they know that Lord Justice Leveson has not yet released his report from the Leveson Inquiry into shenanigans of the UK Press down the years

Fast Forward 10 hours and The Sun have issued this statement of intent why they are releasing the Las Vegas pics of Prince Harry

Why The Sun has decided to print Prince Harry snaps

Managing Editor David Dinsmore explains thinking behind decision to publish notorious images

He said: “We’ve thought long and hard about this. The Sun is a responsible paper and it works closely with the Royal family. We take heed of their wishes.

“We’re also big fans of Prince Harry, he does a huge amount of work for this country and for the military and for the image of both of those institutions.

“We are not against him letting his hair down once in a while. For us this is about the freedom of the Press.

“This is about the ludicrous situation where a picture can be seen by hundreds of millions of people around the world on the internet, but can’t be seen in the nation’s favourite paper read by 8 million people every day.”  – Attribution to TheSun.Co.Uk

What a tawdry statement which translates into we have 8 million daily readers and we can secure millions of pounds in advertising revenue if we run with the Prince Harry images! It is as usual all about the money the freedom of the Press BS is just that plain BS!

Maybe now is the tine for The Sun CEO Rupert Murdoch to have a rethink bring back Rebekah Brooks to oversee an operation by Sun minions to hack the mobile phone of Prince Harry! Then of course they will be breaking the law but the upside is they will know some of what goes on in the private life of the youngest son of Prince Charles!

Calling Out The Sun UK Prince Harry has every right to be allowed a Private Life…

Legend

Leveson Inquiry – meaning – The Leveson Inquiry is an ongoing public inquiry into the culture, practices and ethics of the British press following the News International phone hacking scandal – Attribution to Ozami.Net

It’s all the rage in ultra Jewish communities all over the world, men are forbidden to ogle and view attractive while out and about in High Streets all over UK with a special emphasis on London boroughs like Golders Green et al where swathes of young and old Jewish men live and work.

Religious zealots have clamped down on Jewish men ogling sexy women. So Rabbis are now insisting men must wear ‘Blur Spex!’

Here is the official line on the wearing of ‘Blur Spex’ – quote -  The ultra-Orthodox community’s unofficial “modesty patrols” are selling glasses with special blur-inducing stickers on their lenses. The glasses provide clear vision for up to a few meters so as not to impede movement, but anything beyond that gets blurry — including women. It’s not known how many have been sold. – more -   For men forced to venture outside their insular communities, hoods and shields that block peripheral vision are also being offered. – more – The glasses are going for the “modest” price of $6.

Golders Green Orthodox Jewish Men Don Blur Spex to Block View of Sexy Women…

Legend
Blur Spex – meaning – Glasses sold to Jewish men that blur their vision, so they don’t have to see women they consider to be immodestly dressed.

Footnote
There was a time where European Jews lived in ghettos, literally separated communities that reduced minimized contact with non-Jews. In the modern world cutting yourself off from the modern world with TV, the Internet, etc, becomes more and more difficult. So the religious leaders come up with creative ways to keep observant Jews isolated from the rest of the world through stupid customs. One day they will develop glasses that make women invisible. – Attribution to Unknown Source

Not a pretty headline but highly relevant in UK where millions of people originate from Asia and likely that Great Britain is home to more than one hundred thousand people that originate from Karachi which is teeming with more than 21 million residents deep in the heart of Pakistan.

However this huge social problem of Karachi reeling under the burden of 500,000 Heroin addicts is not  the central theme of our observations regarding unmanageable levels of drug abuse in central Asia.

What we are searching for is how much of this abundance of heroin in Karachi is being illegally trafficked through the back door into UK. It is hard to visualize that drug dealers and gangs are sitting back and missing the opportunity to load up a ship at the local sea port with a cache of heroin  that via one or two change ship operations will very soon be sold on the streets of London and other large cities throughout the UK.

Now here is a warning for all our readers here at Ozami.Net heroin addiction is lethal and anyone who goes near this stuff be warned.  The showcased image posted herein is for real highlighting what happens when people become addicted to Heroin. Do not let this happen to you.

Often even after taking heroin for the first time the effect is so devastating that many are addicted after the first dose of heroin abuse, that is how powerful and debilitating this dead flower is.

WARNING – To one and all do not go near this drug ever!

Karachi Reeling Under the Burden of 500,000 Heroin Addicts…

Legend

Karachi – meaning -  Vast sprawling metropolis teeming with more than 21 million residents a trading center – sea port – main financial city in Pakistan and the capital city of Sindh – Attribution to Ozami.Net

Today for me is one of the saddest and most embarrassing days in my life as a born and bred UK national who is from 100 percent English stock and heritage. What has wrecked my head is that when I looked at today’s UK tabloids the worthless Z Listers had grabbed all the headlines on a golden day of glory  for UK A Lister Sports Stars in  the 2012 London Olympic Games who should on  merit have grabbed all the headline news

Z ListerTrollops were plastered all over the UK tabloids the wannabes – neverwas – we refuse to name them as they are the bottom troffers of British society. But we relish the chance to wax lyrical about some of the temporary male sexual suitors who hang around with Z ListerTrollops.

Idiots Gallery of some nefarious nobodies who hang around with and/or are associated with some of the Z Listers :-

Adam Horsley – Quite simply a dumb tool  of a human being who went on holiday to Thailand, and acted like ‘Robinson Crusoe’ strutting and preening around as though he was the first British guy to ever visit the Orient

Alex Reid – We are struggling to find words to describe this dumb piece of work, so we will again have to settle for a third party reference – ‘A Slope Headed F**kwit!’ My goodness that is a mouthful we cannot concur with as it seems border line rude! But we live in a democracy which enables everyone to voice an opinion which is very different to endeavoring to state a fact, many a worse thing and/or disparaging remark is said everyday in the UK Tabloids about scores of different people! Hence let’s make that one more time someone said he was – quote – ‘A Slope Headed F**kwit!’

A Potpourri of comments we found on the web about the today UK Z Listers

howard69
Dear God, are we going to suffer this publicity-seeking bimbo’s every last twinge as she becomes the first woman to go through pregnancy? – For crying out loud  just get on wth it like thousands of women do every day. Notice she “rushed herself to hospital” then tweeted it to all and sundry. Doesn’t sound like concern for her unborn child to me, just another desperate ploy to get her picture in the papers. -We’ve had to endure every last binge and whinge as she’s jetted her way round the world’s holiday spots with various male companions  – the thought of now having to live every last twinge over the next few months is too much to bear. – And pity the poor kid she’ll eventually bring into this celebrity-obsessed world.

chris_bullard01
enough of this drama queen, i mean i am sure its all played out for the papers, and to think we have another 6 months of this rubbish – this website should be filled with the olympic heroes but no it still fill of this woman, that whining Chantelle bird moaning about Alex Reid (like we didn’t see that coming months ago) and the pointless fake world of TOWIE – hopefully the vampire cartoon will end soon then i wont have to bother coming on here again and looking at this rubbish

zippychips
LOL look at her face without the makeup -just an average plain jane, if you woke up next to that in the morning you wouldn’t feel the “celeb” factor would ya ?
exodus77
This is beyond ridiculous now. – Same talentless Z listers grabbing the headlines again.

Touche we are signing off with this final and oh so accurate and observant comment

beau44
Well surprise surprise. Without all the war paint and the air brushed photos she looks as rough as old boots.

Comments Attribution some unknown by email some The Sun UK

Z ListerTrollops Oust A Lister Sports Stars in UK Tabloids…

Legend

Trollop – meaning – This word is not the word of Ozami.Net it is the word that we heard every day this last week up and down the High Streets’ of UK used in disgust to describe this talentless nobody who makes her money  fooling and deceiving folks by making absurd  remarks and statements in the UK tabloid and celeb gossip press

On Monday night we ventured out onto the streets in London near the Olympic Village to find a plethora of blonde and fair haired eastern European women selling roadside sex. These girls are using stealth tactics and are not offending any passer’s by, and are certainly not giving away any tell tale signs of selling sex that will alert the Police to take action. Never less they are about and are available and many look very tasty too!

These tautologous nymphs From Eastern Europe are smartly dressed in a very sultry way, that in no way indicates that in reality they are just common street whores. These very salacious temptresses are playing a very cute low key sex sales campaign. They are keeping below the radar look out from the cops who are overlooking and keeping law and order on the streets of London during the once in a lifetime Olympic Games in London.

One question one oriental visitor asked about London – quote – ‘Is London the sex capital of the world!’ We are not equipped to answer that question but suffice to say we can comment with – quote – ‘No idea but certainly if you are looking for sex in London, it is for sale and available on almost every ‘Street Corner’ in London Town.’

The eastern European girls have created a market and they are now very experienced in touting sex that makes large amounts of money for a few thousand sultry, sexy woman who know what they want from sex – MONEY – and they have perfected a low key sales platform in which men are almost queueing up to pay for sex.

Tautologous Nymphs from Eastern Europe are Selling Street Sex in London…

Legend
Tautologous – meaning – ‘A fair-haired blonde’ is tautologous if ‘fair-haired’ and ‘blonde’ are taken to have the same meanings.

10 People in UK Who Need to Shut Up During the Olympics, believe you me there are many more but for tasters we have showcased ten only :-

•    Katie Price – All one can say this silly woman needs to go away for a long long time – this silly piece of work was formally known as Jordan!
•    AVB – Andre Villas-Boas – Please shut the F**k Up while the 2012 Olympic Games are in progress in London. Your babbling has become an annoyance to the British Public
•    Amy Childs – God we know that you have some new plastic boobs but nobody wants to know about your misfortune, please take a bow or bra and go away sexually – Thank You
•    Mila Kunis – Oops entered by mistake we want to hear about this honey anytime!
•    Mitt Romney – Please leave UK alone and go back to your miniscule world of naivety in the USA.
•    Danielle Lloyd – Not  a lot anyone can say about this oh so simple being who has resurfaced today saying something about some tweets! Danielle Lloyd please crawl back under a rock no one wants to know about the tweets.
•    The Sun Page 3 – Today showcases Hollie Peers of 30F fame big up front, she will be having a breast of a time at the Olympics so all is well, no problem at all with The Sun Page 3, they get a VIP pass too, another special exemption.
•    Imogen Thomas – Give it a rest girl after all this is the time of  GB Team Football they are having a Giggs of a time. Imogen your banging time with Giggs was in the past not the present!
•    Kerry Katona – Some jerk posted this on Twitter – quote – “Why isn’t Kerry Katona carrying the Iceland flag?” It is funny though but the irony is the tweet poster was serious – Maybe the poster was a sibling of Coerobus!
•    Coerobus – Special exemption the first ever Olympics Winner in 776BC

10 People in UK Who Need to Shut Up During the Olympics…

The high rolling mogul yacht owners are in town for the London 2012 Olympics. Or are they when they are getting billed at £9,000 UK Pounds a Day to Moor at Canary Wharf, one has to wonder on those grounds, that they did not come for the Olympics, but came to show off wealth and have parties that will attract the celebs and the following paparazzi. After all if the yachts turned up say a month ago the publicity would have been minimal, but now with all the athletes in town the super yacht owners  are here too, to suck in all the attention they can gather as people ogle at the obscene wealth and  luxurious lifestyle of these international high rollers.

Super Yachts at Canary Wharf for London 2012 Olympics
•    Ilona – Owned by former Chairman of National Car Parks Donald Gosling
•    Seanna  – Owned by Westfield Group co-founder Frank Lowy
•    Dollar Bay – Owned by Microsoft co-founder Paul Allen
•    Deniki – 52 Metre yacht of Dutch billionaire Marcel Boekhoorn

All moored at the South Quay of East London’s West India Docks

The yacht of Bill Gates is expected soon along with the super yacht of Russian oligarch Roman Abramovich

For these special few I see a local ferry company are on hand to ferry the super rich from South Quay of East London’s West India Docks to the Olympics for the bargain basement ferry fare price of – quote – ‘Water Chariots is using east London’s River Lea to provide limousine and cruiser charter services, costing up to 7,500 pounds, to ferry people to the Olympic site.’

Another mooring dock is being opened for three more luxury yachts due to arrive later this week at East London’s Royal Victoria Docks

Who is Paying £9000 UK Pounds a Day to Moor at Canary Wharf….

British Airways have dismissed pilot Martin Greathurst because he sent a crude text image to a woman he met while off duty, traveling on another airline flight. British Airways were informed that at a later date Martin Greathurst sent a sexually explicit image to the unnamed lady. BA considered details of the incident and based on facts they had on the sexy text images they sacked the BA pilot.

The adjudicated decision makers found the pilot guilty of gross misconduct at a BA disciplinary hearing, the 51 year old pilot who has worked for BA for over twenty years, expressed disappointment in the sacking verdict and will appeal the case.

Martin Greathurst’s wife ironically owns a fashion boutique named ‘Laid Bare Lingerie!’ One has to wonder whether the ex pilots judgment was compromised thinking about his lingerie shop as he appears to have been ‘Laid Bare’ when he ventured to click on his mobile and send the sexually explicit photograph of himself to a woman.

Laid Bare Lingerie Address
33a High Street,
Steyning,
West Sussex BN44 3YE
Telephone :- 01903 815144

Have yet to see this story plastered all over the pages of the trashy UK tabloid newspapers – but the storyline has all the ingredients of a front page splash – sex – lingerie – BA pilot – smut and crude incidents the mind boggles for sure this will all be ‘Laid Out Bare!’ – Very Soon.

Laid Bare Lingerie British Airways Pilot Martin Greathurst Dismissed for Sending Crude Text Image…

Legend
Laid Bare Lingerie – meaning – LAID BARE LINGERIE is a sophisticated new lingerie boutique in Steyning West Sussex. We offer charm and unparalleled personal service and are proud to be the officially approved retailers for La Perla, Lise Charmel, Marie Jo, Prima Donna, Chantelle, Triumph and Hanro. – Attribution to LaidBareLingerie.Com

Prince Harry went to the premiere of the Batman film The Dark Knight Rises with a beautiful new companion Cressida Bonas. Could this be the start of a new romance for dashing man about town the one and only Prince Harry who knows time will tell! This girl is a looker that is for sure and as they went clubbing after the premiere they looked very good together. Many pundits have said the new dazzling blonde has some of the looks of Prince Harry ex Chelsy Davy.

Cressida Bonas Background Profile
•    Ex Leeds University Student
•    Stunning Blonde
•    Leggy and willowy
•    Bright intelligent fun girl
•    Society parents Jeffrey Bonas and Lady Mary-Gaye Georgiana Lorna Curzon.
•    Half sister of actress and model Isabella Calthorpe
•    No bad publicity or skeletons in the cupboard to date

No idea whether this relationship will blossom into romance, but this girl looks to have the pedigree that would be welcomed into royal circles.

By all accounts Cressida Bonas keeps a lot of her life in her own privacy zone, shunning events and areas where if in attendance she may be vulnerable to the avaricious paparazzi and the negative press brigade dressed up as the UK tabloid press. Sensible intelligent girl has the common sense to not get mixed up with the WAGs – EPL Footballers – Big Brother et al and all that style of UK celebrity garbage and trash!

Maybe this girl is smart enough to make the giant stride of acceptance into Royalty. Certainly the high class nightclub Le Salon in  Mayfair, central London will be looking to be revisited by Cressida Bonas and Prince Harry.

Maybe another Royal Wedding in  2015 – three more years to wait!

Cressida Bonas Goes To Batman film The Dark Knight Rises with Prince Harry…

Mr. Rio Ferdinand please take note that everyman and his dog knows about your limitations in life, namely that due to being mentally challenged you are only physically capable of  doing two things in your life…
•    Kick a football
•    Switch on a mobile device and send Tweets

A litany of things Mr. Rio Ferdinand has difficulty managing
•    Keeping his mouth shut but please do us all a favor – ‘Please Shut the F**k Up!’
•    Please stop acting like an imbecile in public – Thank You
•    Stop all this abuse that you are turning out on Twitter
•    And keep out of the fallout of the acquittal of John Terry on racism charges the man was found not guilty in a court of law and that is the final definitive judgement. What happens now is none of your business Mr. Rio Ferdinand.

Now to comments on the rubric sending out a public Tweet disparaging Ashley Cole by calling him a ‘Choc Ice’ is out of order period. One more time Mr. Rio Ferdinand ‘Please Shut the F**k Up!’

The upshot of all this puerile behavior is that kids and budding up and coming footballers are seeing all this nonsense published on a daily basis. The FA should intervene and say enough is enough because all that Rio Ferdinand – John Terry – Anton Ferdinand – Ashley Cole and the likes are doing is bringing the sport of football into disrepute.

Come on all you ‘Champagne Charlies’ grow up you will not be playing top class football for ever there is a life after your career ends, that is if there is any of you left who do not get kicked to death on the way down!

Rio Ferdinand Tweets at ‘Choc Ice’ Ashley Cole…

Legend
Choc Ice – meaning – A black person who acts like a white person! Like is black on the outside and is white on the inside.

That was the week that was – a man got fed up with his girlfriend reading the BDSM tome ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ by EL James. So what did he do – easy – he got a bottle of HP Brown Sauce and poured it all over her face. OMG what an improvement on her looks that made! The BDSM addicted lassie was not impressed with her boyfriend – regardless of the fact that all the top social network sites were waxing lyrical on how smart the boyfriend was to be so creative and make up the face of his GF with a  new brown sheen look!

Some girlfriends are just so ungrateful this man saw an opportunity to soil the dopey book ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ by EL James. So what did he do he spilt the HP Brown Sauce bottle all over the book – super – one down – one to go! He looked at his girlfriend saw room to improve the look on her face so the rest of the HP Brown Sauce went all over her face.

Then what should have transpired they should have started copulating buried in fifty shades of brown. The girl was not up for that so she sold her story to the UK Tabloids. Now she has no boyfriend but she has enough cash to buy a wagon load of HP Brown Sauce.

Some UK girls are just so frumpy they may be into reading about fake imaginary BDSM but they are not up for some brown saucy fun!

We have showcased a 2 liter can of sauce because when the BF does it again two  liters of flowing brown sauce makes a better job!

Fifty Shades of Brown Thanks to HP Sauce as GF Face Turns Grey…

Time to add another category of person in the world, where we already have heterosexuals – bisexuals – lesbians – gay men and more… With now coming out in a flourish Asexual People aka Asexuals  this is great there is always a place in society for something as mundane and inoffensive as asexuality.

Asexuals fall into a number of categories like :-

AVEN – Asexual Visibility and Education Network

Everyone can now search for an inner self discovery and many are now realizing that any sexual attraction traits have all diminished and gone forever welcoming the opportunity to embrace the new world of asexuality!

This is so exciting for many – no arguments with the opposite sex – no sex – but lots of love without sexual contact! So how is this new lifestyle going to be delivered up in UK will we see coffee meets at Starbucks to discuss and exchange ideas about  Asexual People. A gathering of overweight asexual lovers at McDonalds to wax lyrical about how much more they enjoy eating a big mac now that they have come out as an asexual!

Asexual people are experiencing  the opportunity to enter into a sex free world in which many will trust that by removing sex from everyday lifestyle will lead to a better stress free comfort zone and an elevated plateau of enjoyment in general life. Guess on that note all we can say is – TRY IT!

Finally I guess that on Twitter very soon Joey Barton will enlighten the world and tell everyone what asexuality is all about!  Because Joey Barton will know and the UK public are so gullible and stupid they believe him.

Asexual People in UK Finally Secure an Identity…

Legend
Asexual – meaning -  A person who does not experience sexual attraction – Attribution to Asexuality.Org

Ouch this was in one of the UK dailies a man who had a desire to be BIG downstairs – not in the lounge silly me – in his pants his nether loins he wanted a BIGGER Member!

True story about 32 year old Mark Edwards who went under the knife in central London all because he wanted a ‘Thicker Johnson’ aka a ‘Thicker Penis’ He had measured his ‘Crown Jewels’ and was comfortable with the length of his member, but decidedly unhappy about the girth of his ‘Todger’ So mind set he set about doing something about his girth – and quickly realized that drinking a lot of beer expanded his girth but in the wrong area all around his waist. So rule one drinking was out – yes sir that was not going to pack out the package!

Not to be put off with his wish for a ‘Fat Knob’ aka ‘Big Fat Dick’ the 32 year old construction worker went to Harley Street where a number of clinics do ‘Penis Enlargement’ whew those two words are a mouthful to get one’s tongue around. So he got on the phone with London Centre For Aesthetic Surgery on Harley Street and here is where he got even more tongue tied as a young female assistant answered the phone and then Mark Edwards began stuttering how he wanted a penoplasty procedure done by Dr Roberto Viel but he did not want to finish up hung like a donkey!

Umm so fast forward to the day of the procedure – Dr Roberto Viel was ready and stood to attention – those words are surely wrong this is a serious subject that one cannot be flippant about we are definitely talking about something entirely different than going to Starbucks for a coffee! Surely any inference that Dr Roberto Viel was erect before the procedure, is highly unethical and is the sort of gibberish that would be printed in The Sun the UK Tabloid that thrives on fifteen minutes of fame scenarios and salacious topics!

Over to Mark Edwards for his very own recollection of his second penoplasty with Dr Roberto Viel – quote – Mark, 32, said: “They took fat from my love handles and injected it into the bottom of my penis.  – “They increased the thickness by 1.5ins. -“When I came round the pain wasn’t as agonising as I’d imagined. – “The liposuction felt worse. There was redness on my penis where they’d gone in but it wasn’t blackened or bruised… it looked like a fat cucumber.”  - Topic Attribution The Sun UK.

Birmingham Man Has His Member Enhanced by Dr Roberto Viel…

Legend

Storyline – meaning – It appears that the real names have been changed so that the storyline is not enlarged out of proportion to the real resizing penoplasty Penis Enlargement Augmentation Procedure!

Fashion shoe aficionados must not miss this stylish shoe extravaganza live at the Design Museum Until July 1, 2012

Here is an official clip on the merits of the Christian Louboutin Shoe Exhibition – quote – A retrospective of shoemaker master Christian Louboutin’s work, examining the evolution of the French designer’s famous red-soled shoes from the launch of his label in 1991. The exhibition takes visitors through every stage of the design process, from initial drawing to production. On show alongside Louboutin stilettos, boots and sneakers are objects and images reflecting the designer’s inspiration, including art, architecture, cabaret, fairytale and film. – Clip attribution to TimeOut

Do not miss this fashion statement of excellence in design – quality and we proudly say without exception if you get the opportunity to buy and wear Christian Louboutin Shoes you are not only buying some of the best shoes in the world every owner proudly strides out making an impressive fashion statement.

Design Museum – 28 Butlers Wharf, Shad Thames, London, SE1 2YD

Christian Louboutin Shoe Exhibition Live at the Design Museum Until July 1…

Iconic photography genius David Bailey who has been at the ascendancy peak of his complex craft for decades some of his black and white images of rock stars – models – singers – movie stars and celebrities down the years are hard to add a description to because adding the word stunning to the collection does not seem to give his immense talent and gifted skill sets his photography collection so richly deserves

David Bailey had this to say about his upcoming Olympics year Exhibition – quote – “They range, but the concentration is on the Sixties, Eighties and now,” – more – “Newham is the obvious place to do it – it’s where it all happened.”

For all young people who are not familiar with David Bailey they are well advised to visit Newham as this exhibition will be simply fantastic

David Bailey Exhibition East End July 14 to August 11 2012 at the Royal Docks Newham

Singer Katherine Jenkins and TV presenter Gethin Jones say they are “heartbroken” after splitting up. The pair announced in February that they were getting married after Cardiff-born former Blue Peter presenter Jones proposed in Mexico.

Jones and Jenkins, from Neath announced the break-up on their Twitter accounts. The news was confirmed by the mezzo soprano’s management. They met on Strictly Come Dancing in 2007.

Jenkins, 31, said on Twitter: “Sorry for being quiet of late, its just that I have some very sad news. “Geth & I have decided to go our separate ways. We are both beyond broken hearted.

“All your hugs & support will be much appreciated xxx.”

Jenkins broke the news of the split to her mother Susan, 62, in Neath earlier this week and the pair have spent hours on the phone talking it through.

Speaking from her home in Neath Susan said: “It is very sad for both of them. It is a difficult tIme and the family will be giving Katherine all the support we can.”

Jenkins is due to start the UK leg of her Daydream tour in Oxford next week.

Jones, 33, said on his Twitter: “Hi everybody. I’m deeply sad to tell you that Kath and I have ended our relationship as a couple. We are both heart broken… Gx.”

Shortly after the engagement, newspapers said the couple were planning to get married in Wales in summer 2012.

The couple met when Jones was a contestant on Strictly Come Dancing and the singer made a guest appearance on the show.

Earlier this year, Jones had said becoming a husband was “probably going to be the best job I ever have and one I’ll want to do the best I can at”.

source: bbc

Sport in 2011 has seen the loss of many stars as they have left this earth – for who knows – we can only hope for pastures new.

But four sports superstars who are irreplaceable are in our thoughts today as 2011 closes out. They are :-

• Seve Ballesteros aka Severiano “Seve” Ballesteros Sota mercurial golfing superstar with unlimited style and charisma and surely the best smile of the last 50 years – 9 April 1957 – 7 May 2011 – Seve for the wonderful memories one word only ‘THANKS!’

• Dan Wheldon – simply they don’t make many guys like Dan Wheldon any more! 22 June 1978 – 16 October 2011 Daniel Clive “Dan” Wheldon aka Dan Wheldon Racing driver so tragically killed in 2011 IZOD IndyCar World Championship at Las Vegas Motor Speedway on 16 October 2011, at the age of 33. Dan you were special and fans will remember!

• Graham Dilley aka Graham Roy Dilley – Great Kent and England cricketer 18 May 1959 – 5 October 2011 – Won the Ashes England v Australia 1981 – Loved by all cricket fans across five continents.

• Gary Speed aka Gary Andrew Speed, MBE – The sports world nearly stopped for days when Gary was found hanged at his home in Chester – 8 September 1969 – 27 November 2011 – Only 42 years old – the world will try and understand why you checked out on us – but the truth is we will never know!
1988–1996 Leeds United
1996–1998 Everton
1998–2004 Newcastle United
2004–2008 Bolton Wanderers
2008–2010 Sheffield United
National team Wales U21
1990–2004 Wales

Gone in 2011 But Seve – Dan – Graham and Gary Will Not Be Forgotten!…

For all existing, aspiring and budding UK WAGs here is your intelligence guide for 2012
• Hair – Preference blonde out of a bottle if you are not a real blonde.
• Bust – Big either enhanced or au natural word of advice nipples must be perky!
• Brain – Airheads and Dumbos make star quality WAGs.
• Dress – Must like tacky slutty common clothes that make you look like a typical street ho!
• Talk – Must suck up to your lover – tell him anything good that will massage his huge ego – if you are stuck for words start chatting about pussy that will get his attention!
• Public Profile – Must be comfortable with the press and be able to string three words together for the media. For advanced learners the 3 words to remember are ‘Eh You What!’
• WAGs School – We have set up an Ozami WAGs School where we teach WAGs how to remember the three words ‘Eh You What!’ Learning course is usually 10 One hour lessons at £100 pound per hour. It is normal to need 10 hours of tuition to learn the words. Get your EPL footballer to pay!

WAGs Intelligence Guide 2012…

Going to bed with your ex- a good or bad idea?

Part 1 of sex with your ex can be found here.

1. Question your motives, a lot of men sometimes go back into old relationships because it’s an easy way of affirming that they are still attractive. The problem is that it sends mixed messages to your ex and is likely to leave you feeling very confused too. Women on the other hand rarely resurrect a sexual relationship with an ex-partner with the express intention of keeping it casual, so if you don’t want to get involved with again don’t go there.
2. If you do want to get back with your ex you will need to work out what went wrong last time if things are going to be different this time, consider therapy and counseling.

If after reading the pros and cons you still believe having sex with your ex is a good idea, here is a guide to make sure you go into it wisely and with realistic expectations:

1- Allow enough time to pass.

Even if you’ve had the most amicable breakup, you still need enough time to cool off before going back into anything intimate. The longer you went out together the longer you need to stay away. This might mean a couple of months for some people, for others it could be a year or more. If the break-up ended with raging arguments, screaming and crying you should wait even longer.

2- Make your intentions clear.

Let your ex no that you are not under any circumstances interested in getting back together and are only looking for a little fun. In fact, you may even want to drop hints about dating other people so that it’s plainly obvious you’re only interested in sex. If you dated for long enough, you should know whether your partner is the type to be OK with that or not. Many people are perfectly fine with a purely sexual relationship, but if you get a hint that your partner is even remotely interested in getting back with you stay far, far, away.

It might be easier to just lie there after you’ve done the deed, but you’re setting yourself up for a potential mess by staying over. Sleepovers are for relationships, not exes who are now friends-with-benefits. Next thing you know, she’ll be cooking you breakfast and the two of you will be shopping for furniture. When you’re done doing the deed and you’ve cleaned up, get out.

Having Sex with your ex, good or bad idea?

However it isn’t that uncomplicated, it is very easy for old feelings to resurface and unrealistic expectations of reconciliation can lead to disappointment.
Your relationship wasn’t working so you split up. But your split-up isn’t working too well either. You are single, miserable and surrounded by irritatingly loved-up couples and ever-so-happy families. With Christmas coming, a spot of “no strings” sexual solace in the arms of your ex starts to seem like the solution. Sex with your ex can be very tempting if your ex was the greatest lover you ever had or if you are still physically attracted to them. However, having sex with an ex, no matter how shallow or deep and intimate the relationship was, can be very tricky. Here is a list of the pros and cons of sex with your ex, and how to go about it wisely:
Pros:
Sex with the ex is appealing for many reasons. We feel comfortable with them, both inside and outside the bedroom. A new relationship or hook-up is generally awkward, and first-time sex is always a little uncomfortable. When having sex with an ex, we know their likes, their dislikes and they know ours as well. Sexual familiarity means the sex will probably be very pleasurable. Sex with an ex often feels like the obvious answer especially if your sex life before you broke up was amazing
It’s certainly cheaper. No need for expensive dates or elaborate mating ritual, it’s so much easier than starting something new. There’s a comfort level that comes with knowing someone really well that new relationships just don’t provide.
Cons:
Instead of remembering all the reasons you broke up, you start fantasizing about her soft, warm body up against yours or his big strong arms tightly wrapped around you making you feel safe. And before you know it you have convinced yourself that you can overcome any residual anger or upset and selflessly help each other through the night.
Next comes the reality check. Sex with your ex might relight your fire, but all the baggage that brought you down will still be there in the morning, safe sex is now an issue, too. It’s difficult to admit to having had sex with someone else, so even if your ex promises you that they have been celibate since you split, you will need to use condoms just in case.