Well now that the British public are led to believe that nightclub bouncers are really ‘Venue Managers’ the world of hype takes a new nonsensical lunge towards complete an utter stupidity!

To showcase what we mean here are the Venue Managers at work in Tramps nightclub in Worcester, Lisa Woodman a saucy 28 year old blonde (out of a bottle of course) pitches up at the nightclub door all size 6 of her with huge 36DD mammaries the type Wayne Rooney likes to slap around as he enters from the rear. Lisa Woodman is wearing a low-cut top, short skirt and knee-length boots. Now all she is doing is getting dressed up like a tramp to get into Tramps nightclub in Worcester!

She was refused entry by the Venue Manager he said – quote – : “You’re too old to wear that get-up.” And then the steroid freak bouncer turned Lisa Woodman away from the club door.

Lisa Woodman made these comments – quote – ‘I always like to look sexy when I go out on the town.’ Lisa has dropped out four babies in recent years, so she has undergone breast enhancement to get everything back shipshape!

Bouncer Mistakes Lisa Woodman for a Tramp at Tramps…

Legend
Nightclub Bouncer – Local beefcake often thinks EPL footballers are intelligent! Have difficulty explaining why they are hooked on steroids. Believe they have the power to say how WAGs should dress to gain nightclub entry.

3 Nightclubs in Worcester are owned by the same company – Tramps – Modes – Velvet. Lisa Woodman is barred from all three.

Talking about money could be one of the reasons for the marital split between Seal and Heidi Klum. In 2011 Heidi pull in $20 million dollars not bad for a supermodel whose sell by date was surely a decade ago, so kudos to Heidi she must have some brains to pull in the big bucks.

But Seal on paper does not look to be in that earning league and since his marriage to Heidi Klum what has he done career wise zilch. In fact the more one focuses on Seal it seems that siring children is his forte. Or was as now that he has got booted by Heidi all that is history.

This couple appeared as far as the public was concerned to make marriage into some sort of celeb event when they remarried every year once more with all the celeb gossip websites and paparazzi in attendance. Plus of course there are all the children to consider only a few more and they have enough to field a football team.

The big celeb and gossip sites are all over the break up news about Heidi Klum and Seal and TMZ had this to say – quote – ‘The last time TMZ filmed Seal and Heidi together, we asked her what the key to a successful marriage is. She didn’t answer the question.’ – Attribution to TMZ.Com

Seal Heidi Klum Marriage Over…

Millions of people in the world get married each year for a raft reasons – some think they are in love – many believe in love and hope it will spring through the bedroom door – millions do not know what love is and think it happens when you get married – others well they get married to see how long it will last! Think we are cynical – you bet we are – but one thing for sure we are not so dumb and stupid as showbiz stars and celeb wannabes who get married on a whim – but hey more of them later in the Imperfect Wedding Matches segment!

Ozami Perfect Wedding Matches 2011

• Hands down zero competition so the award goes to the delightful UK Royal couple (Who do look and act like they are genuinely in love) Yes the one and only Prince William chose as his wife the spectacular shimmering natural beauty Kate Duchess of Cambridge nee Kate Middleton.

Ozami Imperfect Wedding Matches 2011
The contenders rolled in, in the 1000s from the world of showbiz stars and celeb wannabes, and it was difficult to select a winner from this incredibly dumb and self centered world of nothing but personal BS. But the winners selected themselves for their unequalled stupidity so take a bow the winners are :-

Ozami Imperfect Wedding Matches 2011 Winners

• Stupendously stupid silly English man with silly beard and silly long hair the incredibly dumb Russell Brand who put a ‘Red Bag’ over the head of his bride when they married in late 2010 he married an intellectually challenged curious woman from the States who likes to be known as a wannabe pop star Katy Perry.

Ozami Imperfect Wedding Matches 2011 Runners Up
• Porn freak – wide bottom as in motorway wide – and celeb imposter Kim Kardashian her marriage lasted for just over 70 days to some dope from the NBA called Kris Humphries.

Ozami Imperfect Wedding Matches 2011 Third Place
• This was a surprising result as thousands of showbiz stars and celeb wannabes all got exactly the same number of votes. So the great news is that they are all winners of the Ozami Imperfect Wedding Matches 2011 Third Place award but the good part is that these mentally challenged freaks will be happy because they will believe that winning third place is a major achievement!

The Perfect and the Imperfect Wedding Matches of 2011…

Here is an official statement on UK Boxing Day Sales – quote –
The Next retailer group – quote – ‘600 shops in the capital’s West End reported £15m of combined takings inside the first three hours.’

The Bullring shopping centre in Birmingham – quote – 2,500 people waited for Next to open. One thousand more crowded the entrance to Selfridges.

Some people were skating far away from reality with this lame excuse for shopping – quote – ‘We were buying late Xmas presents or gifts we forget’ Yeah we believe that as Elvis still shops in Oxford Street too! Any excuse was on the table and the truth is no one cared as long as they could Shop Shop Shop!

Roll the tape fast forward early February 2012 the credit card bills are delivered – OUCH!

It was similar scenes across the whole of UK as shoppers went on a Buy Buy Buy spree!

UK Boxing Day Sales Bonanza…

Bras Off Panties Down

Luxury UK lingerie maker La Senza are on the commercial scrapheap as the troubled bra and panties group call in the administrators. La Senza have become renowned as one of the premier lingerie brands of the world and despite the news that they are closing down La Senza adverts are still being posted across Asia in the Orient where girls love luxury lingerie brands like Le Senza.

The demise of this stellar lingerie brand is a hammer blow to the beleaguered UK economy that is deep in recession and now thanks to Le Senza another 2,600 jobs are lost and will see Le Senza close 146 stores and 18 concessions across the UK.

Official report on the pending Le Senza closure released by a company representative – quote – “Due to trading conditions in La Senza’s high street locations and the overall macro environment which are having an adverse effect on the company,the board of directors of La Senza has filed a notice of intention to appoint administrators. ” – more – “For the avoidance of doubt, the company is not currently in administration, and no administrator has been appointed.”

Not a good omen as we enter 2012, in the UK and the rest of the world there is a demand and market that should see quality lingerie makers like Le Senza flourish and go from strength to strength. Sadly the reality is that the bras and panties are now on the floor and no one is going to pick them up!

La Senza the Bras comes Off and the Panties come Down…

Great Britain has sprung into end of year action the roads are chocker block with over 21 million cars on the roads with the drivers and passengers all with one track minds – we are going shopping!

Payments firm Visa expects to process more than 33million transactions worth more than £2 Billion UK Pounds.

The shopping blitz will see tills racking up over £1 Million UK Pounds in sales every minute of opening hours. Plus the Internet for online shopping is open round the clock 24 hours all day every day!

So much for the recession – up yours too! Seems to be back to live now – pay later!

Britain Goes Xmas Shopping Crazy Racking Up £2 Billion in Sales…

Kate has been an inspiration to millions she is vibrant – intelligent – photogenic – poised – caring – diligent – regal – with a super personality that swathes around millions!

Prince William is a perfect match for Kate they make tor the best of the best and we look forward to see them engaging in the pubkic spotlight for decades to come.

Kate Middleton is a true UK ‘National Treasure’

Kate Middleton is UK Best Dressed Celeb 2011…

But hey times change and tastes change and in our humble opinion The Daily Star is looking beyond the babe with the biggest under carriage and it is delightful to see beautiful slimmer models like Emma 23, of Stoke on Trent and Danielle 28, of Liverpool taking center stage. These girls and many more in The Daily Star go to show that girls do not have to have the ‘Biggest Knockers’ in the world to look beautiful! Hey to all at The Sun why not showcase some slimmer girls on Page 3!

The Sun Babes v The Daily Star Babes…

Sounds like the sort of do the Duke will excel listening to all the royal gossip and of course reference will be made about mere mortals. The Duke of Edinburgh is renowned for his wit and wicked sense of humor.

High Society Xmas Bash with The Queen..

Salma Hayek

At 44 she is one of the best Mexican actresses looking gorgeous at over 40. Still attracting a lot of eyes with her generous body and it seems that she is not about to stop at this age.

Jennifer Aniston

Best known from the TV series Friends and for being married with Brad Pitt, Jennifer Aniston is still the same great looking woman as she was before, even though she hit the 42 age. You can still find her on popular magazines’ front covers, another sign that her beauty is far away from not getting noticed.

Kim Cattrall

One of the main characters from “Sex and the City” but also well known as a gorgeous MILF in American Pie, Kim Cattrall looks at 54 like many 20-ish celebrities would desire. According to her sayings, she did not get any plastic surgery and her beauty is all natural.

Halle Berry

“Sexiest Woman Alive” – according to the Esquire, Halle Berry is just amazing. At 44 year-old she has a vast experience in playing all kind of roles, from the sexy and mysterious Catwoman to attractive girl from “Die another day”. One of the most beautiful woman from Hollywood and not only indeed.

Gwen Stefani

Another magazines’ front page often presence, Gwen Stefani does not only pleases our years with her good music but she also goes one step further and shows us how a woman should look in her over 40s. A lovely presence on both stage and magazines.

Dame Helen Mirren

65 year old is an amazing age for looking as brilliant as Helen and by looking at her beauty (whether natural or not) we can realise why she is still the queen of ageless style. Keep up the good work Helen!

Sharon Stone

After she managed to catch all men’s attention on her…legs, with the scene in Basic Instinct, Sharon Stone still emanates sexuality through all her pores at 53-year-old. Continue to look like this and you might be the next queen of ageless style!

Demi Moore

Who is 48, has a 11 years younger lover after getting through 2 divorces and looks better than many 25 year-old women? Easy guess, the “Ghost” female star Demi Moore. She seems to keep her beauty at high level with the help of natural anti-ageing products, according to her almost daily tweets.

Jennifer Lopez

At 42, Jennifer Lopez was recently crowned by People Magazine as “The most beautiful woman in 2011” and she definitely deserves this title. Great dancer, amazing looking body – a fantastic Latino woman that still remains among the most beautiful women on the Planet.

Kylie Minogue

After fighting with some serious health issues, Kylie Minogue is still the hot Australian singer we all know, even though she hit 42. Seriously damaged by her condition she managed to overcome it and get back among the most desirable celebrities.