Wow we have just had a representative in the studio from UK Online Dating Site ‘Very Naughty’ and they have been inundated with exciting new lady members called Swofties. These ladies are not your run of the mill over fifties – married – settled and stable. No sir these trendy girls  have shed the man in their life and are free mobile and flexible. They are fashion conscious while at the same time prone to acting and behaving as though still in their twenties.

So why are they joining the UK Online Dating Site ‘Very Naughty’ when they are not on the lookout for a man, that is easy to explain they are after sex and they know they can find all the sex they need and more on ‘Very Naughty!’

But hey for all these Swofties joining an online dating site is a plus as the girls are often very special and often have lots of class – so having Swofties who are over fifty years old and on the lookout for fun and entertainment is just fine as men are always up for a bit of totty with a touch of class.

So a hearty welcome goes out to all the Swofties who are on the prowl looking for that bit extra from NSA Sex!

UK Online Dating Site ‘Very Naughty’ is Inundated with New Swofties over 50!

Very Naughty Profile – meaning – Join Very Naughty adult sex dating site free of charge. Search or browse profiles of sexy women looking for men, discreet NSA casual dating and fun. – Attribution to VeryNaughty.Co.Uk

Legend

Swofties – meaning – Single women over 50 – Independent – Financially Stable – Not Looking for a lifetime partner – trendy dressers – physically fit and in the main very sexy  – Cougars over 50 – Attribution to Ozami.Net

Pursuit and Distance in Online Dating – Part 2

…..part 1 can be found here…..

Tips On Handling Pursuit & Distance

Accept that sending an email to someone you like the look of but you do not yet know is a far cry from going on a date. This is not meant to put you off, however, you do need a willing partner to start the pendulum of a relationship swinging.

Some people will be shy, or not used to online dating. It can be difficult to assess this from a member’s profile on a dating site, so patience is a virtue when it comes to waiting for people to reply, they may be interested but need to build up the confidence to reply, if you bombard people with emails it may scare them off.

An email not returned is possibly worth a second attempt later, but if you still hear nothing then leave it, accept that the other person is not interested and move on. By not doing this you are in danger of becoming a harasser, and although this may not reflect your true personality it can come across this way, we all have to apply self control at some point in our lives.

If someone does not reply to your email, or they suddenly stop replying during a conversation, accept it and do not take it to heart. There are many reasons why someone will not reply to an email, they could have met someone else, got back with an ex, given up on dating, or they could be on holiday, or busy with work. Again, the more you pursue, the less likely the other person will be to contact you.

Accept and understand that there are people on dating dating sites with all kinds of agendas and some of those will never end up going on a date. They could be getting over an ex, making an ex jealous, massaging their ego, or even just ‘half looking’. No matter how much you try, these people will always be out of reach and your time is far better spent meeting genuine daters.

If in doubt – Move on! Don’t waste time waiting for that special someone to reply, you’re all in the same boat and you shouldn’t feel guilty for emailing as many people as you like, until you reach the dating stage it’s all about seeing who is out there, you’re not committed to speaking with just one person. Meanwhile, you just might get that email you’re waiting for!

Don’t demand answers on why someone is not interested or has stopped replying to emails, just accept that for ‘whatever reason’, it’s time to move on, if they come back great, if not don’t let it perplex you, it is obviously not meant to be at that time, and again, by demanding answers you are in the danger zone of becoming a ‘harasser’.

Basic advice is to look at online dating as a lighthearted affair to begin with, and learn to take rejection like an adult. If someone is not interested, it’s their loss, but to get nasty or accuse people of time wasting is in itself a waste of time. Be mature and adult about it, you don’t have a god-given right to date the people you add as favourites. If you play it cool and respect the dance of pursuit and distance, you will find online dating sites far more rewarding, and once you have fine tuned your approach, and you can apply it to everyday life later!

The main rule of thumb, and one which will stand you in good stead is to never pursue a distancer, it will never work out in the long run and you will save yourself a lot of heartache. Love is a two way game and it needs two people willing to play and do you really want to end up someone just because they ‘gave in’ or would you rather be with someone who genuinely wants to be with you!?

Pursuit and Distance in Online Dating

Every heard of ‘pursuit and distance’? You may or may not know this term, but you can be sure you’ll have danced to its tune at some point in your life!

‘Pursuit and distance’ is a term given to describe how humans engage in relationships, it is about balance, there is the ‘pursuer’ and the ‘escapee’ and it can be applied to man and wife, parent and child, worker and employee, even friends can sometimes play this difficult game.

Pursuit and Distance In Day To Day Life

This dance of chase and avoidance has been covered in books, poems, literature and films for a very long time, it is a part of human nature. It is a popular subject and one which has been highlighted recently in the Golden Globe award winning ITV1 drama ‘Downton Abbey’. Set in ‘God’s Country’ (Yorkshire). The two lead characters of this quintessentially English costume drama, engage fully in the dance of pursuit and distance. Viewers can relate very well to the script, as will all have taken part in the dance of pursuit and distance at some time or another.

Pursuit and distance is a popular subject for those who specialise in psychological patterns and research. It is studied and written about from marriage counseling to family counseling and can be used in therapy to help pursuers understand their actions and hopefully change their behavior to live a more fruitful and rewarding life and not one based on an endless chase.

It is a fine balance and one which we, as humans, play every day. It could be a mother missing her son who has flown the nest, it’s a hard lesson but children have to make their own way at some point in life and a parent has to understand the boundaries so as not to become a hindrance, whilst still enjoying a happy balanced relationship with their child or children. It could be between two friends, one friend is a bit too keen and can’t understand why the more he or she tries to arrange nights out the less it seems to happen.

Pursuit and distance is usually a game we play and understand without realising, but some times, in certain situations, it can lead to displays of obsessive behaviour. Imagine pursuit and distance as a pendulum, it swings from side to side in a relationship, but in some cases, if pushed too hard from one side it can swing too heavily in the one direction; the more one person pursues, the more the other person tries to avoid contact.

Pursuit and Distance & Online Dating

With the above in mind, we can use the equation for a successful and happy time in online dating.

By respecting and understanding this game of ‘kiss chase’ when meeting someone new, we can get so much more from dating sites.

An online dating site is simply a database full of single people all looking for their special ‘someone’ to date, whether it be for love, friendship or a casual fling. But the way in which we use the site can determine how successful we are.

It is easy to assume that just because someone is there in front of us on the screen they’re ‘up for chatting’ and just because someone has viewed your profile, they will a) want a relationship and b) reply to an email in minutes. In reality, it is fair to assume that if you don’t receive a reply from an email after that person has viewed your profile, there will be no point in sending a third or fourth email. Even if you do receive an email, by appearing too keen you can become a ‘pursuer’ and early on in a friendship, this will not come across well to a prospective partner.
…..click for part two

‘Russell Brand Falls In Love Again’ Ouch do we really want to hear all this once more! The man who always insists how important he is, nobody else we believe is of that opinion, anyway never less the news we have to report is that Russell Brand is over the ‘Red Bag’ Katy Perry and is head over heels in love once again.

But the new love affair is extraordinary he is besotted and bursting with love for Russell Brand.

Yes you read that correctly – Mr Russell Brand is in love with Mr Russell Brand – and as Mr Brand said recently everything written about him on the Internet is lies. That means anything said about this very unfunny former alcoholic – recovering drug addict and much much more is ok yeah.

So how do we know he is in love again – well we have a report come in that someone saw Russell Brand looking in a mirror and was heard to say – quote – ‘I am in love with Russell Brand’ We wanted to throw up into the sick bag on hearing that twaddle – but we have to report it how it is – you read – you decide!

Russell Brand Falls In Love Again…

The problems with open relationships

Open relationships can be a way for couples to explore their desires and needs outside of their normal relationship – whilst still relying on their open relationship for intimacy and love. These kinds of open relationships can be successful but frequently a slew of problems arise in open relationships that often end either the open part or the relationship itself. In this piece we’re going to examine some of the problems that frequently arise in open relationships and discuss potential solutions.

The most common problem in all open relationships is jealousy. In reality, despite how much many of us like to kid ourselves, we all get jealous over certain things. Relationships are one of the most common sources of jealousy we experience. We become attached to our partner and often are inclined to act covetously towards them. An open relationship therefore exacerbates this problem as we are forced to share our partner with another or others over time. As a relationship develops this can prove an increasing problem. The potential solutions to this problem are stopping having an open relationship as things progress or making sure both you and your partner can remain jealous free. Overcoming jealousy is possible in an open relationship providing both you and your partner understand that yours is the only relationship in the arrangement.
The next common problem is time. Whilst time might seem like an odd problem an open relationship means that you and your partner will both be spending periods apart with other partners. This means you will be going out together less and will both have days and nights where one person is with another partner and the other is not. Sharing your time in this way can prove to be incredibly frustrating, angering and in some cases emotional depressing. Knowing your partner is sleeping with someone else, or might be, whilst you are sat in front of the TV alone can put a lot of strain on your relationship. The only potential solutions to this are to set times when you will always be together and make sure that you are either out at the same times or together at the same times. Whilst not always possible attempting this can help a relationship.

The final problem we’re going to look at is relationship development. As a relationship progresses one or more partners are likely to want to end the open part of the relationship and “settle down”. This can cause problems if the other person doesn’t want to and can strain a relationship and cause its termination. This is a particularly hard problem to avoid as it normally arises in the course of the relationship meaning the open relationship has been going on for some time. In this situation either you and your partner will be able to successfully end the open side of the relationship or the relationship will end.

Open relationships really are a very tricky relationship to “get right” and you are risking a lot by deciding to enter one. That is not to say you can’t be successful in them only that the majority of these relationships fail after a while. If your relationship is casual this might not be a problem but if you are seriously considering a long term future it is very risky.

This was the wedding that the celeb gossip columns and the music world said would not last the joint infused liaison between loopy singer Sinead O’Connor and seemingly naïve therapist Barry Herridge.

It seems the need for some ‘Blow’ a ‘Spliff’ or just a ‘Common Joint’ was the first sign of a crack in the marriage when at the wedding reception everyone was drinking except Sinead O’Connor because she is either a recovering alcoholic and/or she does not drink. Anyway the bottom line is she wanted a smoke of marijuana. That seems to have not gone down so well with the friends and family of therapist new husband Barry Herridge. Meaning that a pork chop at an Islam wedding would have been more popular than some ‘Blow’ a ‘Spliff’ or just a ‘Common Joint’ at a Sinead O’Connor Wedding!

Before this latest marriage cracked and Sinead O’Connor decided to weed new hubby Barry Herridge out of the door. Let’s look back at some of the Sinead O’Connor sexual preferences down the years – quote – ‘I am a Big Lesbian Mule or I am a common Dyke’ – more – ‘I’m three-quarters heterosexual, a quarter gay and I like hairy blokes’

It is all over the press that this latest of the four marriage’s of Sinead O’Connor to Barry Herridge latest 16 days or 17 days at the most! But as often happens the news is incorrect the official line from Ms Sinead O’Connor is – quote – “Lived together for 7 days only”.

So all the critics and pundits have been proved wrong once again saying the marriage would not last it lasted for seven days officially – after all what more can you expect from Sinead O’Connor – the audacity and the hubris of the press thinking the marriage lasted 16 or 17 days!

Sinead O’Connor’s Marriage Cracks as she Weeds out New Husband after 7 Days…

It just shows what you can do in life when you mature and have a ton of cash, of course the answer is hang out with the Hef at the Playboy Mansion and play around with the bunnies.

At least that is what you can do when you are a mature 17 years of age – have the cash and are named Justin Beiber. As the Playboy guvnor Hugh Hefner says ‘Welcome’ and now Hef’s ex fiancé Crystal Harris is in on the act – quote – “I want to meet Justin Bieber. I have Bieber fever. We all do, all the Playmates. We all want to meet him.”

Justin Bieber using Playboy Mansion as a Regular Hang Out…

Examining the grey areas between an affair and married dating

The term married dating has arisen in recent years as an often synonymous term for an affair. A lot of the use of the term comes online where dating sites try to steer clear of openly calling and marketing affairs (though of course many sites still do). In this sense married dating is very similar to an affair but in others it is technically not. Married dating can also mean a marriage with an open relationship where both or one partner engages in extra marital relations with consent of the other partner. This might seem abhorrent to many people but it is more common than you might think with many marriages remaining loving, caring and sexually active despite the awareness and practice of extra-marital relations. However, in this article we’re going to examine the grey areas between an affair and married dating as these often become very blurred – both intentionally and unintentionally.
The first thing to consider as a key difference is awareness. As we have already mentioned married dating can exist consensually between married couples or non-consensually. If there is openness about married dating then it falls out of the grey areas and into the white. If there is no consent then we are nowhere near the white. However, the grey area lies in fact in the problem of lying. Many married individuals both on dating sites and in real life will claim that they are either not married or that their partner consents to them having extra marital relations. When you are thinking of starting a relationship with a married individual you need to be aware that they may be lying if they claim to have their spouses consent. This doesn’t necessarily have to affect your own choices of action but it is worth considering as you are very unlikely to have any way of assessing the veracity of what they say.

The second grey area that comes up frequently is trust. Dating someone who is married generally means that you already know they are prepared and able to lie in a relationship. Even if their reasons are justifiable you need to be aware that trust can be a serious issue. If they are not being honest with their spouse then you cannot be sure they are going to be honest with you. If this isn’t a problem for you then that’s ok you just need to be aware.

The final grey area that often occurs comes in the actual differentiation between an affair and married dating. Most affairs usually last less than six months and this implies they are more of a casual fling than a serious attempt to leave a spouse. However, dating usually implies that a more long term relationship is looking to be formed. This creates a serious grey area as if a more long term relationship is sought then you need to examine why the person remains married. Whilst there is nothing provisionally wrong with “testing the waters” you may be putting yourself in a position where you will be hurting someone else in the long or short term. That is not to say that this should stop you but it should give you pause for thought before you take things too far.

You can discuss this post at Ozami Forum.