Ozami – Music, Celebrity, Sports Entertainment Blog

Hype is infectious and often makes people act in irrational ways, which in the case of the much vaunted book

Fifty Shades of Grey
By
E. L. James

Has seen sales rocket through the ten million barrier. But who is buying this oh so tedious tome – it looks to be on the surface to have attracted the attention in droves of ‘Silly Mommies’ who know little or nothing about BDSM – Bondage and Discipline – Sadism and Masochism! Then what happens the hype goes viral and before anyone has time to blink the ‘Silly Mommies’ have bought and downloaded over 10 million digital copies of ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’

But here is the kicker how many of the buyers will actually read the book when it gets reality check reviews like this from Joe Public – quote – I succumbed to the 50 Shades’ hype and read the first in the trilogy, and thought all along that this was such a cut-and-paste book. Meaning that it follows your recipe exactly: take one naive young girl, add mysterious, dark and dangerous, uber-rich fellow, stir with a riding crop, and voila! An apparently best seller! – I keep telling people that it’s like Twilight without the vampires, but the same tone of teenage angst and good-girl-loves-bad-boy scenario.

Yawn.

But to the mommies out there who need to get their engines revved, more power to you! Maybe I’m too jaded since I’m still battling sleep deprivation with a 12 week old baby, and sex is the last thing on my mind these days! – Attribution to Knowhr.Com

So where did the anacronym MP – Mommy Porn originate easy the name came from the main stream press and IM sales pitches. All aimed to increase sales hype encouraging people to buy ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’

Guess what it failed in spectacular fashion I have just entered the keywords ‘Mommy Porn’ into a number of search engines and I was shocked because in all the images channels all that loaded up on the browser was disturbing pornographic images thousands of them and many showing sex that would depress most people especially the likes of ‘Silly Mommies’

Just read a great article on the BBC website about Mommy Porn and selling books in the UK High Streets visa vie selling digital downloads. The writer was really smart he hardly mentioned anything about ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ and E. L. James. One has to wonder whether he was thinking the book is so lightweight and irrelevant, that like us, he held back and made zilch comments.

Given that there are over seven billion people in the world, selling ten million digital downloads of ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ is a monumental failure!

Mommy Porn Interlaced With BDSM Fails To Attract The Masses…

Gone but never to be forgotten arguably the greatest writer of the modern era Christopher Hitchens is no longer here with us to drink and celebrate Xmas. Drinking was his hobby and he was wonderfully blessed with the ability to consume large quantities of whisky and red wine as he quoted when it came to drinking alcohol he had the constitution of a mule.

Here is classic Christopher Hitchens one liner on drinking – quote – “The research also shows clearly for the first time that drinking any kind of alcohol — not just red wine — can protect the heart.”
Another Christopher Hitchens on eating – quote – ‘A tip: Try to eat something, indeed, at every meal. ‘
Christopher Hitchens on God – best read his book – ‘God Is Not Great’

The ‘Hitch’ was a truly original ‘One Off’ few of his ilk and style come along in any one generation!

Christopher Hitchens passed away on December 15, 2011 due to pneumonia complications relating to Esophageal cancer.

In Memory of Christopher Hitchens 1949 – 2011…

Sexy halloween outfits Posted by max

Tea and Jack Schitt’s Halloween Costumes

Favorite Sexual positions

Hey, baby: Wig out if you want

We’re not crazy about Donald Trump’s comb-over.

And television newsman Sam Donaldson would be more attractive without the rug on his head.

Still, vanity is a human trait, and we’ve become accustomed to affectations by adults.

But are we ready for baby toupees?

No kidding.

A California-based Web site,babytoupee.com, is marketing hairpieces for little guys. The promotion lines urge consumers to “have fun with your babies” and “enjoy parenting.”

It’s all about the humor. For $24.99, you can order wigs such as the long curly “Lil Kim” or a scruffy-looking “the Donald.”

thanks to El Pirate

you wanted it

well we have it  : the video or pete’s explosive actions

Here’s a pretty cool ass game.

Have fun – - –

“wsda”

READ THE INSTRUCTIONS YOU BUNCH OF KNUCKLE DRAGGERS

MarcusMaximus

ROFLMAO very bad

Sex in Public imagine that

more pics here

An astounding September 11th gallery of over 5,000 photos encompassing all aspects and perspectives of this attrocious yet nonetheless historical tragedy. Many images on this 8 page spread have never before been seen, only recently released from private collections.

Perfect Valentines day gift girls washing your car

or the dumbest
whichever way you look at it

Well here i finally am, blogging on Ozami. Well let me get started by telling you where I come from.
I live in a City named Port Elizabeth on the South African south eastern coast. We have a beautiful country with a lot of potential, so I am happy to be a South African. I have various interests including fishing, women ( the main one I must state) and writing. I work for a liquor Producer viz Distell where we manufacture Wine and spirits. We have been busy as hell with our pre price increase orders ( before our Governments budget speech towards the end off Feb, when extra surcharges and taxes are added to our normal pricing.

Most Ozamians will know me as jnell@distell.co.za as Ozami was the first site that I went to when I first started to surf the net and was not too clued up at that stage as to what I was supposed to type as a user name. but that is the past and the future in nigh so let us get blogging and grow with the best site on the net viz ozami. So till we meet again keep blogging and be safe.

Sundance Hot Tub

The Great Dutch Ice-Skating Marathon
Foreigners call it: ‘The Dutch Disease’.

If you combined the endurance demands of the New York Marathon with the grueling climate conditions of the Alaskan Iditarod, you’d get a sense of the Dutch ice-skating race called the Eleven Cities Tour.

Known as the Elfstedentocht in Dutch, the one-day tour is an obsession for its 16,000 participants and the millions more who follow it worldwide. The event is held in The Netherland’s northern province of Friesland but only in those years when the ice freezes over the 124-mile track of lakes and canals that makes up the route. The last tour took place January 4, 1997.
Now with this cold front comming from Russia
and the tempature starting to drop below zero our hears start to beat a little bit faster
the only thing we Dutch can think about with this freezing cold
is there going to be an Elfstedentocht this year
will it get cold enough for the canals to freeze over
Who knows
all i know is that the Eleven City Tour fever is starting to rise

it is going to take me 29 hours to download but then its gonna be mine
all mine woooooooooooooooooooooohooooooooooooooooooooo

gawwwwwwwwwwd i wanna have boobs like that

Everyone needs the occasional unscheduled day of leisure. Here is how to get yours without raising suspicions at work

If you can, call your boss’s voice mail or send him an email rather than speaking with him or her directly. This avoids the possibility of questions and awkward advice that often trips up the caller.
If you do speak to someone in person, provide details. Avoid a comprehensive diagnosis like “I’ve got the flu”. If you describe symptoms such as congestion, coughing, fever, etc., the person is more likely to believe you. They’ll probably also decide to get off the phone as soon as possible.
A good modern way is to pre-write an SMS (text message) the night before. You can then wake up in the morning, send the SMS, then go straight back to sleep! This looks like you’ve made the effort to get up early (or been up all night vomiting!) and reduces the amount of “up time” if you’re after a good sleep in!
Make the phone call early in the morning if possible, when your voice is still rough with sleep. This will give you some added credibility.
For an added effect, bend over your toilet while pressing your forearm into your stomach so you begin to sound like your stomach is really being affected by whatever you are calling about. (Usually this would make you sound like you just finished vomiting.)

January 11, 2006

“If you would not be forgotten, as soon as you are dead and rotten, either write things worth reading, or do things worth the writing.” – Benjamin Franklin

I just read a news story by Michael Ledeen titled “One Moment in Time” where he rather nonchalantly reports the passing of Osam Bin Laden. “….And, according to Iranians I trust, Osama bin Laden finally departed this world in mid-December. The al Qaeda leader died of kidney failure and was buried in Iran, where he had spent most of his time since the destruction of al Qaeda in Afghanistan. The Iranians who reported this note that this year’s message in conjunction with the Muslim Haj came from his number two, Ayman al-Zawahiri, for the first time…..” http://www.nationalreview.com/ledeen/ledeen200601090808.asp (( The first red flag in this report is “according to Iranians I trust…”))

No big deal, I guess. Seems maybe the world has lost interest in Bin Laden – no one seems hot on corroborating this juicy bit of info (yes, I am working on it) but I guess my real concern is that his death wasn’t even the subject of the article. Not really. It talks about Chinese theory and history and sequence of events as compared to moments in time.

“In short, both demography and geopolitics make this an age of revolution..”

Carpe Diem and all that – the real challenge of recognizing an important moment when it is upon you. Easier said then done, I think, but a valid point. I think it’s a good article, nonetheless.

********************************************

As my Grandfather, a farmer in the north panhandle of the great state of Texas, used to say…

* Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.
* Keep skunks, bankers and lawyers at a distance.
* Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.
* A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.
* Words that soak into your ears are whispered…not yelled.
* Meanness don’t jes’ happen overnight.
* Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.
* Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.
* It don’t take a very big person to carry a grudge.
* You cannot unsay a cruel word.
* Every path has a few puddles.
* When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.
* The best sermons are lived, not preached.
* Most of the stuff people worry about ain’t never gonna happen anyway.
* Don’t judge folks by their relatives.
* Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
* Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll enjoy it a second time.
* Don’t interfere with somethin’ that ain’t botherin’ you none.
* Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
* If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin’.
* Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.
* The biggest troublemaker you’ll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin’.
* Always drink upstream from the herd.
* Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.
* Lettin’ the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin’ it back in.
* If you get to thinkin’ you’re a person of some influence, try orderin’ somebody else’s dog around.
* As you look forward to where you are going, always remember to take stock in where you are.

Busy day today the lil monsters came down with yet another cold so we had to take them back to the doctor
now taking two tiny todlers to the doc is like me packing up and going away for the weekend
can you believe all the stuff they need like bottles diapers toy’s spare clothes sandwiches candy cookies and most importantly enough juice
we arived at the doc’s only 15 minutes late but no one really noticed untill the monsters started to tear down the waiting room
eventually the doctors assistent had to lock us up in the waiting room because the kids made to much noise

we went into the docs office
she listend to both girls lungs and looked in their ears
she said number one was getting better
but that number two had a slight ear infection and fluids in her lungs
poor little girl image how crappy she must feel being that ill
so doc started her on antibiotics and i hope she will be feeling better soon
and i also hope all the pucking will be over soon
Because good lord at the huge amounts of clothes they go trough during a day
the amounts of food they eat
all the dishes from one day that are pilling up in the sink
Dirty fingerprints everywhere and fingers coverd with snot wiped on your clothes

after that we went to the supermarket to stock up on foods in case we get snowed in
then we hurried back home and put the kids to bed
then i passed out

Happy Friggin’ New Year
December 27, 2005

Hello, it’s me Marcus Maximus. How ya doing?? Did ya have a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, or a righteous Kwanza? (Did I spell those right?) – - Me?? Well, since you asked – - I woke up Christmas morning with the mother of all migraine headaches. Yes – It was a living hell. Spent most of the day in bed, nursing my head, wishing I was dead – - you get the picture. Did eventually get my sorry ass up and (with plenty of drugs) greeted all the people I had invited over to the Maximus household with a bright and cheery face.

I have often thought that BLOGS were the epitome of self indulgence – the end all – be all of self-absorption. Be that as it may, I just couldn’t let Teabags, Milky and the others run away, screaming incoherently down the hallways of the internet, over turning trash cans, banging on drums, pissing off the neighbors, and making a nuisance of themselves (especially Tea – as that we all know what a crazy mixed up women she can be). Of course, I only say this with the utmost respect and affection towards all my Ozamian friends.

So all last week, and this week too, the media has been pumping us with the year in review – and what a crazy, F’d-up year it has been, eh? Disasters, War, Pestilence, Famine, and Michael Jackson? All the crazy bullshit we have been inundated with for the past twelve months has, at least by my calendar, come to an end. Isn’t that convenient? With the magical tick-tock of the clock we will usher in a new year and do our damn best to forget the year before. Clean slate, fresh start, new beginning – - Hooo Aaahhh!! It’s the end of the world as we know it – and I feel fine. Yes-sir-ee Bob, I do – I do – I do.

And you know who’s glad this year is over? George Bush.

No shit.

Wouldn’t you hate to be that poor bastard? Don’t get me wrong – I voted for the guy, I supported the guy, and still do – - but every damn thing that has gone wrong, in the entire world, has been blamed on him. I mean, you’d think the dude was God or something. Tsunami? That was Bush’s fault – he invented Global Warming, you know, which caused the ice caps to melt, which caused more water in the ocean, causing greater pressure on the Teutonic plates, which shifted under the heavy weight of the ocean, which caused the Tsunami, which caused 200 thousand (+) deaths – and it was Dubya’s fault. Same thing with Katrina. Don’t ya know? Kanye West – a very wise man indeed- said George Bush hates black people – so it MUST be true. What is it that Kanye does for a living? Something very profound – I am sure.

And the War in Iraq? No weapons of mass destruction (WMDs)? Ask Syria where Sadam’s WMDs went – they know the deal. Insurgents? Better there than here, I say. You’d think that Al Queda would eventually run out of people wanting to blow themselves up. I mean, there’s got to be only a finite number of people willing to strap on a bomb and go for a walk, eh? Nope – revenge and martyrs walk hand in hand because the Middle East is one seriously dysfunctional land. And let’s not forget who the real mover and shaker in the Middle East was/is – Iran. Those guys are nuts, hate our guts, AND they have WMDs.

Gas prices? You know, if you cut George Bush – he bleeds oil – - so you know that high gas prices are his fault too.

But you know who made out like bandits in 2005? The democrats. Don’t kid yourself – - the Democrats are VERY glad to have lost the 2004 election. Why? Hell, with John Kerry in office can you imagine the mess the Dems would be in? All this anti-war rhetoric would be falling on Kerry’s shoulders like a ton of bricks. And would the war be over right now? Nope. Would our troops be coming home? Nope. And that krazy ass momma, Cindy Sheehan, would still be pitching a bitch and whining about the war and Kerry would just say –“well, we’re are committed to bringing peace to the region, so we can’t leave just yet…” And then pile on everything else that happened in 2005?? Yeah – them Dems are really glad they lost that election – a serious blessing in disguise.

Yeah – 2005 sucked.

The only good thing to come out of 2005 was Ozami.com. But that goes without saying, right?

Well, here’s to 2005 – raise your glass and say a prayer – and shake your ass like you just don’t care!!

I’ll see ya’ll next year.

Max

Well, what can I tell ya people?
You all know me as melkior, melky, or Milky — your great and beloved mod around Ozami. j/k
I have been given a great responsibility and a great honor to produce some reading material for you guys and I hope a can fulfil my duties.
Cheers!

nothing much to say about myself
i’m a chick and i have boobs (pics are posted at Ozami somewhere)

my sis showed up on my doorstep last week with her two lil girls and she is living with me at the moment
two lil angel monsters
so there goes my wonderfull happy go lucky singleton life i was living
right now number two is sleeping and number one is laying on the couch watching pipi longstocking
who knows for how long until they wake up and go back to destroying my apartment
aaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhh

lol

ps. number one pucked down my sweater yesterday
that was my christmas lolololol

Ummm, what can I say about myself, ummmm, I think I am too boring for anyone to be interested in me but I am having fun blogging

Ovi is one of the authors in this blog. He work for Velnet as a webmaster and web editor from almost 2 years. His primary interest is in Web Design, Web Site Promotion, Scripts Customisation.

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