Take a bow Christopher Murray Paul-Huhne aka Chris Huhne it is only February and your nomination for ‘Plonker of the Year 2012’ looks likely to go unchallenged! Here is the storyline that has grabbed Chris Huhne all the UK Headline News attention – quote – Chris Huhne and his estranged wife, Vicky Pryce, are to be reunited in a Crown Court dock after England’s most senior prosecutor ruled there was enough evidence to charge them both with perverting the course of justice. – more – Shortly after 10am yesterday, Mr Huhne became the first serving cabinet minister to resign to fight criminal charges, after an eight-month police inquiry. He will now appear alongside Ms Pryce at Westminster Magistrates’ Court a week on Thursday. If they are eventually found guilty both face jail. – News Clip Attribution The Independent Newspaper UK.

Chris Huhne aka Christopher Murray Paul-Huhne seems to enjoy the limelight as his life revolves around :-
• Shacking up with self confessed bi-sexual mistress 45 year old Carina Trimingham.
• Getting a speeding ticket and letting his former wife Vicky Price take the rap.
You just cannot make up a story to match the escapades of Chris Huhne!

Chris Huhne Bisexual Speeding Derails Cabinet Minister…

Rachel Hatton 28, a former Miss Warwickshire and a competitor running for the Miss Great Britain beauty title. Is accused in Northampton Court of two charges of false representation and one of fraud for falsely claiming housing benefit, council tax and income support and the fraud charge relates to a legal aid claim. The charges claim she received over £22,000 in benefits as a single parent while living with her partner.

Rachel Hatton was said at the time of the offences to have been living with Mr Nathaniel Simon.

Some people may remember the first 15 minutes of fame for Rachel Hatton were when she became the first divorcee to enter the Miss Great Britain competition. But this time around she may finish up with much more than fifteen minutes in the ‘Big House’ aka HMS Prison!

The court maintain that all of Rachel Hatton’s benefit claims were illegal. Ms Hatton maintains she is innocent and the court case continues…

Beauty Queen Rachel Hatton in £22,000 Benefits Scam…

Leeds United axed manager Simon Grayson after they were drubbed 1-4 at home to Birmingham City. Then quick as a flash Neil Warnock has thrown his hat in the ring for the job of getting the once mighty Leeds United back in the EPL Premier League.

Neil Warnock would be perfect for Leeds United, this guy has an impressive record in football club management. To the degree that (the has been or never was in management terms) Mark Hughes who replaced him at QPR has a much worse management record than the seasoned campaigner Warnock who must surely be in the box seat to land the Leeds United job.

Neil Warnock is available since he was fired by QPR although his QPR record was impressive – Won 33 – Lost 24 good by most people who know about football of course Tony Fernandez the QPR owner knows zero about football as he showed when he fired Neil Warnock and replaced him with hapless Mark Hughes.

Most experts would expect Elland Road Leeds to be buzzing if Neil Warnock is the new manager of Leeds United. Plus based on the latest Championship table Warnock must fancy getting the chance of two consecutive promotions QPR last season and as a long shot for this year Leeds United.

Neil Warnock Set to be Leeds United Manager…

The keyboard is frothing as I write about the news that super hot Keira Knightley likes her bottom to be spanked and slapped. Down guys if you want to join in – get in the queue as I am in pole position to spank and relax with Keira Knightley – I WISH!

Keira Knightley is starring in a new film ‘A Dangerous Method’ in which she has some topless roles and some sets where they role play some bottom spanking and butt slapping! STOP – I just took an ice cold shower!

Sorry I will try and get through this ordeal back on subject!

The scene from the film ‘A Dangerous Method’ based on :-
Keira appears in the film topless and tied to a bed while her co-star Michael Fassbender – a psychoanalyst – spanks her behind.

Here are some comments from – Butt Slapping Keira Knightley – quote – ”I did think about turning it down because of the two scenes of a sadomasochistic nature and I thought it’s all going to come out and all of a sudden it’s going to be about that.” – more – “And weirdly, apart from this country, it hasn’t been, so that’s been really great. In England it’s got mentioned all the time. I don’t know what that says about us! We obviously like spanking, I don’t really know.”

Slap Keira Knightley Loves Hanky Spanky…

Rotten apples usually all lie in the bottom of the box and that is certainly an appropriate place for football agent Kia Joorabchian and two smelly apples that he is agent for the braindead Carlos Tevez and the hapless clueless QPR manager the serial loser Mark Hughes. The way that these three conduct their business and carry on in public is disgraceful!

The latest sham from these greedy individuals is for Mark Hughes to offer to take Carlos Tevez on loan from Manchester City to QPR for the rest of the EPL season. Then to compound the felony Hughes has dressed up the deal with the charade that Carlos Tevez playing for QPR will help to ensure that Manchester City will be able to be crowned the EPL Champions come May 2012.

The QPR manager Mark Hughes said: “If he did come, he would be playing against teams and possibly help City win the league.”

Baloney – total BS – this is just a way for you all to make some money to further line the pockets of Kia Joorabchian – Carlos Tevez and Mark Hughes!

Of course for the uninformed Kia Joorabchian is also agent for Mark Hughes – so it looks like they are all p**sing in the same pot!

EPL Football is rotten and right at the top are rotten apples Kia Joorabchian – Carlos Tevez and Mark Hughes!

Carlos Tevez Agent Kia Joorabchian More Faces than a Town Hall Clock…

The pompous righteous straight backed UK tabloid The Daily Mail are running a story on Gary Glitter – here are the headlines and the first line :-

Paedophile Gary Glitter to pocket thousands of pounds in royalties when hit is played at Superbowl final

Convicted child molester Gary Glitter is in line to make hundreds of thousands of pounds when his 1972 hit Rock and Roll Part II is played at the Super Bowl final next month. – Attribution to The Daily Mail

Shame on The Daily Mail and as for the reporter what right have you to harangue and disparage Gary Glitter in that way!
OOPS Silly me of course without using the words ‘Paedophile’ – ‘Convicted child molester’ there is no storyline…

I guess I am so dumb because we never drop down to the level of the gutter press to get a story at any cost. The irony is that The Daily Mail does not need to run stories like this as they usually have a raft of great news!

Gary Glitter aka Paul Francis Gadd has done his time served his prison sentence and has not re-offended and if he wants to earn a few quid because they will play Rock and Roll Part II at the 2012 Super Bowl Final – Then he should be allowed to without all The Daily Mail BS!

Gary Glitter Super Bowl Final 2012 Rock and Roll Part II…

There is a chump who plays for AC Milan called Kevin-Prince Boateng and he is out with a groin injury that will keep him out of action on the football pitch for at least a month

But there is new bizarre twist in the injury mystery the mentally challenged Kevin-Prince Boateng has been shagging a WAG who claims to be a supermodel named Melissa Satta who has now told the press that the groin and/or thigh injury is directly due to Mr Kevin-Prince Boateng having sex up to ten times a week with WAG Melissa Satta!

Melissa Satta – quote – ‘The reason why he is always injured is because we have sex seven to 10 times a week. – more – ‘I hate foreplay, I want to get straight to the point,’ – more – ‘My favourite position is on top so I can take control.’

Please pass me the sick bag, I want to throw up! How is this news UNBELIEVABLE

Thank god for footballers you could not make up this BS.

Kevin-Prince Boateng Groin Injury Caused by WAG Melissa Satta…

Now my oh my who would have thought that Big Brother winner Denise Welch has been playing away from home with a toyboy party organiser Lincoln Townley, 39, who has been showing her his own little brother! All this hanky panky has been going on while she is still married to actor Tim Healy 59!

Now it seems that 53 year old Denise Welsh is having some problems with her vision as rumors abound that she has become cockeyed over Toyboy Lincoln Townley and his now notorious ‘Little Brother’ package! Other gossip street talk is that when Denise Welsh starred in Loose Women, was about the same time as she became cockeyed and that all led to tension in her panties, and something had to fix that so in slid the Toyboy Lincoln Townley with his action man ‘Little Brother!’

Denise Welsh has a chequered history in the gossip columns like – quote – battling drink and drug problems in the past. Going topless in a hot tub with X Factor teenager Frankie Cocozza on Celebrity Big Brother.

Denise Welch has Toyboy Lincoln Townley with Little Brother Package…

Legend
Little Brother – meaning – Toyboy Lincoln Townley’s todger!

The celeb gossip sites and tabloid newspapers and magazines feast – prosper and create mayhem about stars and celebrities much of the stuff they write about is the real deal – the rest well call it what you like the usual disclaimers are rumors – or an unnamed third party said – get the drift – shall we just say it’s in the main entertainment gossip!

Here is a typical example Susan Boyle the Scottish singing sensation – she does not do drugs – she never dates and she has never had sex in her life. So how do the celeb gossip writers build a story around Susan Boyle. Easy they follow her with a paparazzi camera man get some good shots let’s say as Susan Boyle steps out of a taxi cab in London and the wind blows her hair all over the place. Wham they have the base to set up the story now for the headline descriptor – Susan Boyle Sexy Hair Show in London – now the reality is there was nothing sexy to write about but you need ‘Sexy’ to grab the attention to capture millions of eyeballs! Then you kick off the first line Susan Boyle looks sexy as she is about to enter (a leading brand name) fashion shop.

That’s the meat of the story the three essentials are – the star Susan Boyle – the eyeball grabber ‘Sexy’ – and the fashion brand name that will ensure advertisers will buy up all the ad spots around the article – That’s it folks how to set up a gossip press article.

Celebs like Susan Boyle are just Cannon Fodder for the Gossip Press…

Did you read the descriptor – ‘Demi Moore the latest Celeb Drug Abuse Victim’ – what ‘Victim’ my ass! This is yet one example of an aging spoilt plastic Hollywood never was, who cannot even control who enters and leaves the inside of her panties. So how can anyone expect her to have any control with the drugs she pops whether prescription or hard drugs, it is all the same the woman is out of control in fact she has never been in control!

It gets tiresome writing about the likes of Demi Moore as at best, all she deserves is to be ridiculed or maybe even more relative thrown on the scrapheap like what happened with her husband Ashton Kutcher (another loser but more on him some day soon) who gets fed up with pounding the silicone Hollywood train wreck of a woman.

One can imagine a typical day for Demi Moore get up look in the mirror – then spend the next three hours in the bathroom – exit the bathroom – look in the mirror – get the driver/chauffeur to take her to the beauty parlor for a series of Botox treatment – leave there after 4 hours – look in the mirror – go pill popping some place drink some coffee and have the meal of the day half a croissant – another two hours gone – look in the mirror – go home and retreat to the bathroom for another three hours – surface again – look in the mirror – go down the hair salon for two hours – exit – look in the mirror – Damn I am done writing about that silly bitch!

Demi Moore is no drug abuse victim she is a headcase!

Demi Moore the latest Celeb Drug Abuse Victim…

Whitney Houston has run out of money her desperate ‘Crack Cocaine’ addiction has sucked millions of USD dollars out of her bank accounts. Leaving her down and out at only 48 years of age. now reduced to calling up friends to borrow a 100 bucks here and there. So some may say it’s only Whitney Houston who cares!

Well we care here at OZAMI and we do not want to be seen taking the ‘Moral High Ground’ but the sad case of Whitney Houston does matter and we trust that anyone and everyone who reads this article will realize what drug abuse can do to anyone including a legendary diva like Whitney Houston.

A plea from OZAMI PLEASE SAY NO TO DRUGS!

Or you too may end up like Whitney Houston.

This is from the Whitney Houston record company – quote “Whitney’s fortune is gone,” – more – “Music industry heavy hitters are supporting her and her label is fronting her cash against her next album, but no one knows when that will be released.”

Whitney Houston is one of the biggest selling singers of all times and a 6 times Grammy Award winning artist.

Down the years Whitney Houston has had a string of hits but all those achievements seem nothing in light of the terrible crack cocaine abuse that has wrecked her career and taken a huge toll on her health – It’s not pretty writing about a tragedy like Whitney Houston! We can only hope she can get help!

Whitney Houston Runs Out of Money…

Worcester
West Midlands
England

Well now that the British public are led to believe that nightclub bouncers are really ‘Venue Managers’ the world of hype takes a new nonsensical lunge towards complete an utter stupidity!

To showcase what we mean here are the Venue Managers at work in Tramps nightclub in Worcester, Lisa Woodman a saucy 28 year old blonde (out of a bottle of course) pitches up at the nightclub door all size 6 of her with huge 36DD mammaries the type Wayne Rooney likes to slap around as he enters from the rear. Lisa Woodman is wearing a low-cut top, short skirt and knee-length boots. Now all she is doing is getting dressed up like a tramp to get into Tramps nightclub in Worcester!

She was refused entry by the Venue Manager he said – quote – : “You’re too old to wear that get-up.” And then the steroid freak bouncer turned Lisa Woodman away from the club door.

Lisa Woodman made these comments – quote – ‘I always like to look sexy when I go out on the town.’ Lisa has dropped out four babies in recent years, so she has undergone breast enhancement to get everything back shipshape!

Bouncer Mistakes Lisa Woodman for a Tramp at Tramps…

Legend
Nightclub Bouncer – Local beefcake often thinks EPL footballers are intelligent! Have difficulty explaining why they are hooked on steroids. Believe they have the power to say how WAGs should dress to gain nightclub entry.

3 Nightclubs in Worcester are owned by the same company – Tramps – Modes – Velvet. Lisa Woodman is barred from all three.

Hey to all folks in the UK this feature is for you, for decades in UK a typical Sunday for anything from four to eight million people was to read the now closed NoW – the much missed News of the World the glorious UK Sunday tabloid that echoed out loud who was screwing who – whether Celebs – Footballers – Politicians – Teachers – Nurses et al in fact everyone was fair game for the NoW – News of the World.

So let’s role play say today Sunday January 22, 2012 the headlines could well have been :-
Natasha Giggs Dons Specs to See EPL Sausage Clearly!

This WAG come wannabe reality star has been getting an awful lot of publicity in the UK tabloids of late but most of the press is big on hype and lacking in detail. What Joe Public need to know about Natasha Giggs is this :-

• Who was up inside her panties last night!

• Preferably a published image of the cocksman!

• Details confirming that Natasha Giggs prefers to suck on a large appendage in preference to an ice lolly!

• Why is Natasha Giggs wearing glasses these days what does she need to look at!

Now here is the kicker the NoW – News of the World would have covered all these details and more!

For those newbies to Natasha Giggs she was involved in an 8 year sausage piping affair with her husband Rhodri’s brother legendary Manchester United superstar Ryan Giggs who gave her miles of erectile sausage for more than 8 years

Oh for the return of the NoW – News of the World.

Alas we are left to read ‘The Observer’ who do not even know who Natasha Giggs is! Life is so unfair sometimes!

What Does Natasha Giggs Love to Suck on a Sunday Morning…

To quote Roy Orbison the marriage of Heidi Klum and Seal as the song says ‘It’s Over’. Heidi Klum calls time on marriage to Seal after six years and the divorce lawyers are set to wrap up the finances.

Talking about money could be one of the reasons for the marital split between Seal and Heidi Klum. In 2011 Heidi pull in $20 million dollars not bad for a supermodel whose sell by date was surely a decade ago, so kudos to Heidi she must have some brains to pull in the big bucks.

But Seal on paper does not look to be in that earning league and since his marriage to Heidi Klum what has he done career wise zilch. In fact the more one focuses on Seal it seems that siring children is his forte. Or was as now that he has got booted by Heidi all that is history.

This couple appeared as far as the public was concerned to make marriage into some sort of celeb event when they remarried every year once more with all the celeb gossip websites and paparazzi in attendance. Plus of course there are all the children to consider only a few more and they have enough to field a football team.

The big celeb and gossip sites are all over the break up news about Heidi Klum and Seal and TMZ had this to say – quote – ‘The last time TMZ filmed Seal and Heidi together, we asked her what the key to a successful marriage is. She didn’t answer the question.’ – Attribution to TMZ.Com

Seal Heidi Klum Marriage Over…

All women no cellulite and no silicone – how unique but hey folks have no fear Kelly Brook is one of the best 32 year old ‘Eye Candy’ you will find anywhere in the world.

Kelly Brook is simply sizzling HOT!

Here is what Kelly Brook has to say about her body – quote – “I can’t bear the fact that girls these days think you have to be thin to be beautiful and successful. I’m not thin. I don’t starve myself. I don’t look at my face and body and think I need surgery or a boob job or a bum lift.” – more – “It makes me very angry when women in the public eye talk about what work they’ve had done, because it makes other women feel devalued. ” – more – “They should just shut up about it.”

We have been checking out Kelly Brook in recent years and we can say that she just gets tastier and tastier and now is a divine 32 year old goddess.

The fashion shoot is for New Look and you can see Kelly Brook in :-
• Reddy to wear stockings and suspenders – as in sizzling hot red.
• Racy lacy spotted bra and briefs.
• Dreamy Creamy Undies!

There is steam coming out of this PC writing about Kelly Brook.

Kelly Brook her latest New Look Fashion Shoot…

Well what is going on Imogen Thomas has been doing a hot swimsuit shoot in Lanzarote, in the Canary Islands and from a guys point of view in all the images you see that is whole lot of woman there. Now is that because she was formerly a slave to sexual introductions delivered by EPL footballers naming one Ryan Giggs who has done a lot of ‘panty hustling’ with Imogen Thomas. We have to wonder how the body grows bigger is it due to more ‘podging’ with EPL footballers they all seem to like big asses and big frontages.

Once again back to the swimwear shoot in one set of images Imogen Thomas was bursting out of a hot black string bikini – Now we have to ask her body is immense, is this due to eating too much sausage or is it because she is addicted to EPL footballer Sausage Meat!

Question for our readers does Imogen Thomas love Sausage Meat!

Our survey on WAGS for what it is worth big cleavage and big derriere!

Do you all agree or do some EPL footballers like very slim WAGS too?

Imogen Thomas in a Hot Black String Bikini looks like a Big Girl…

‘Russell Brand Falls In Love Again’ Ouch do we really want to hear all this once more! The man who always insists how important he is, nobody else we believe is of that opinion, anyway never less the news we have to report is that Russell Brand is over the ‘Red Bag’ Katy Perry and is head over heels in love once again.

But the new love affair is extraordinary he is besotted and bursting with love for Russell Brand.

Yes you read that correctly – Mr Russell Brand is in love with Mr Russell Brand – and as Mr Brand said recently everything written about him on the Internet is lies. That means anything said about this very unfunny former alcoholic – recovering drug addict and much much more is ok yeah.

So how do we know he is in love again – well we have a report come in that someone saw Russell Brand looking in a mirror and was heard to say – quote – ‘I am in love with Russell Brand’ We wanted to throw up into the sick bag on hearing that twaddle – but we have to report it how it is – you read – you decide!

Russell Brand Falls In Love Again…

Perfect Imperfect Wedding Matched 2011

Millions of people in the world get married each year for a raft reasons – some think they are in love – many believe in love and hope it will spring through the bedroom door – millions do not know what love is and think it happens when you get married – others well they get married to see how long it will last! Think we are cynical – you bet we are – but one thing for sure we are not so dumb and stupid as showbiz stars and celeb wannabes who get married on a whim – but hey more of them later in the Imperfect Wedding Matches segment!

Ozami Perfect Wedding Matches 2011

• Hands down zero competition so the award goes to the delightful UK Royal couple (Who do look and act like they are genuinely in love) Yes the one and only Prince William chose as his wife the spectacular shimmering natural beauty Kate Duchess of Cambridge nee Kate Middleton.

Ozami Imperfect Wedding Matches 2011
The contenders rolled in, in the 1000s from the world of showbiz stars and celeb wannabes, and it was difficult to select a winner from this incredibly dumb and self centered world of nothing but personal BS. But the winners selected themselves for their unequalled stupidity so take a bow the winners are :-

Ozami Imperfect Wedding Matches 2011 Winners

• Stupendously stupid silly English man with silly beard and silly long hair the incredibly dumb Russell Brand who put a ‘Red Bag’ over the head of his bride when they married in late 2010 he married an intellectually challenged curious woman from the States who likes to be known as a wannabe pop star Katy Perry.

Ozami Imperfect Wedding Matches 2011 Runners Up
• Porn freak – wide bottom as in motorway wide – and celeb imposter Kim Kardashian her marriage lasted for just over 70 days to some dope from the NBA called Kris Humphries.

Ozami Imperfect Wedding Matches 2011 Third Place
• This was a surprising result as thousands of showbiz stars and celeb wannabes all got exactly the same number of votes. So the great news is that they are all winners of the Ozami Imperfect Wedding Matches 2011 Third Place award but the good part is that these mentally challenged freaks will be happy because they will believe that winning third place is a major achievement!

The Perfect and the Imperfect Wedding Matches of 2011…

For several weeks of late WTA superstar the supremely talented Spanish tennis player Rafa aka Rafael Nadel has not been on the top of his game on the tennis courts in the end of season competitions. But now Rafa has gone public that he has a long standing recurring shoulder injury that can only be treated and cured by resting from playing one grueling tournament after another. So Rafael Nadal is going to play in the 2012 Australian Open then he is going to take many weeks off to ensure that his shoulder recovers so he can compete in the other grand slams of 2012 – Roland Garros 2012 French Open – Wimbledon 2012 Wimbledon and Flushing Meadows 2012 US Open.

Rafa has had a spate of injuries down the years, maybe due to the all out way he plays tennis, but Rafa is as ‘Tough as old Boots ‘ so we are sure to see Rafael Nadal winning many more grand slams in the coming years.

To Rafael Nadal ‘Happy New Year’ and may you have a speedy 100 percent recovery to the shoulder and we look to see you back in some warm up tournaments before Roland Garros 2012.

Rafael Nadal to take Month off after 2012 Australian Open due to Shoulder Injury…

Very slowly Burma called Myanmar by the present day dictators is opening up a new era after decades of living in fear of a callous and murdering Military junta the beleaguered people, see a glimmer of hope. Now at last a flicker of freedom has started to burn ever so brightly over Rangoon aka Yangon the former capital city. Rangoon translated into English means literally “End of Strife”

Well that maybe true for one day at least as Rangoon aka Yangon is going to host the Biggest Music Gig in Burma for 50 Years.

Top Burmese Bands Playing at the Gig
• Emperor
• Metal Zone
• Lazy Club
• Plus 3
• Spectrum
• Heaven Born
• Vertical Vibration

Here are some official details – quote – Sponsored by the National League for Democracy (NLD), the extravaganza will feature as many as 80 of the country’s top talents from the worlds of rock, pop, hip-hop, techno and other contemporary musical genres.

Gig Date today Friday December 30, 2011 at Rangoon’s Myanmar Convention Center.

Over 10,000 fans are expected!

Daw Aung San Suu Kyi will be the star of the day!

Well done to all the people who have worked so hard to organize what promises to be a sensational musical extravaganza of which Burma is unlikely to have ever seen or experienced before!

Burma Hosts Biggest Music Gig in 50 Years…

Sport in 2011 has seen the loss of many stars as they have left this earth – for who knows – we can only hope for pastures new.

But four sports superstars who are irreplaceable are in our thoughts today as 2011 closes out. They are :-

• Seve Ballesteros aka Severiano “Seve” Ballesteros Sota mercurial golfing superstar with unlimited style and charisma and surely the best smile of the last 50 years – 9 April 1957 – 7 May 2011 – Seve for the wonderful memories one word only ‘THANKS!’

• Dan Wheldon – simply they don’t make many guys like Dan Wheldon any more! 22 June 1978 – 16 October 2011 Daniel Clive “Dan” Wheldon aka Dan Wheldon Racing driver so tragically killed in 2011 IZOD IndyCar World Championship at Las Vegas Motor Speedway on 16 October 2011, at the age of 33. Dan you were special and fans will remember!

• Graham Dilley aka Graham Roy Dilley – Great Kent and England cricketer 18 May 1959 – 5 October 2011 – Won the Ashes England v Australia 1981 – Loved by all cricket fans across five continents.

• Gary Speed aka Gary Andrew Speed, MBE – The sports world nearly stopped for days when Gary was found hanged at his home in Chester – 8 September 1969 – 27 November 2011 – Only 42 years old – the world will try and understand why you checked out on us – but the truth is we will never know!
1988–1996 Leeds United
1996–1998 Everton
1998–2004 Newcastle United
2004–2008 Bolton Wanderers
2008–2010 Sheffield United
National team Wales U21
1990–2004 Wales

Gone in 2011 But Seve – Dan – Graham and Gary Will Not Be Forgotten!…

Scottish businesswoman Michelle Mone pulls the plug on her 19 year marriage as she declares to husband ‘It’s all Ultimo over now!’ However who really cares there is 39 Million pound business empire to divvy up between Michelle Mone and her soon to be ex husband Michael. Gossip has it he did not like her modeling in bra and panties showcasing her own luxury lingerie brand Ultimo by MJM International. Reports are rife that Ms Mone recently lost six stone in weight then wanted to show off her slimmed down figure featuring Ultimo bra and panties. – more – Mr Michael Mone is said to be going through a difficult time because he is said to not like his wife to been seen in public wearing only Ultimo bra and panties!

Some men are just well – STRANGE!

What is even stranger is the news that Michael Mone will continue to work for Ultimo after the divorce – maybe that is so he can still bitch and ‘Mone’ about Michelle Mone modeling racy underwear by Ultimo!

The 40-year-old Michelle Mone mother-of-three built up the business after leaving school in Glasgow at the age of 15 and is now believed to be worth around £39million.

Michelle Mone says to Husband 19 Year Marriage is Ultimo! …

Qatar Investment Authority – QIA – Money bags owners of French Football League leaders PSG – Paris St Germain have moved in superstar manager Italian Carlo Ancelotti on £110,000 a week over 2½ years totaling £14.3m making him the highest paid boss in French football.

This great move by QIA could open the doors to sign former England captain the much travelled David Beckham who it is understood has been offered £160,000 a week deal for 18 months.

This is a ton of money for both Carlo Ancelotti and David Beckham but these days in world football, you get what you pay for. Which means for the top managers and best players the salaries are in millions of pounds.

PSG are said to be close to signing Kaka from Real Madrid and are also considering a bid for Chelsea forward Florent Malouda who played under Carlo Ancelotti when he was the Blues manager.

French left wing politicians are up in arms at the salaries PSG – Paris St Germain are able to pay to bring in the best – but who cares about the politicians sounds as though they are just jealous!

Carlo Ancelotti takes over at PSG – Paris St Germain…

What splendid news we have at this festive time of the year the excruciatingly boring news that odious unfunny loser Russell Brand did not spend Xmas with his podgy wife Katy Perry.

Katy Perry was seen alone on the beach in Hawaii she was in a bikini – and let us tell you that was not a pretty site. Now everyone is entitled to be ugly but some like Katy Perry just abuse the privilege. Man this woman is fat – have to feel sorry for the camera taking shots of Katy Perry in a bikini – anymore like that and the camera will break!

Meanwhile her husband Russell Brand, yes you all remember him the silly stupid man who married Katy Perry just over a year ago in India and then covered her head with a ‘Red Bag’ – well this dope spent Xmas in Cornwall, England.

For the uninformed Russell Brand is a English actor/comedian famous for being a lousy actor and not having a funny bone or mind in his body. Katy Perry is an American singer followed by millions and ignored by billions simply because she just cannot sing!

Russell Brand and Kate Perry are Apart…

Well at last someone is joining BB – Big Brother – who will bring this show back to life! That is if, there ever was any life in the reality show anyway.

Anyway direct from Hollywood in comes big time actor Michael Madsen who is hot news both on screen and off screen. Michael Madsen is famous for his roles in Reservoir Dogs – Kill Bill – Donnie Brasco and Die Another Day.
From some of the team at TV reality show Big Brother – quote – “Michael is going to be the Hollywood big gun of the house. He’s quite a formidable character.”

By all accounts the show needed a life saving pick me up and now the onus is on Michael Madsen who will keep the press busy as much off the show as on the show! Big Brother it to them Michael Madsen!

Celebrity Big Brother starts on Thursday January 5, 2012 on Channel 5.

All eyes will be on how many millions of viewers come back to watch the show savior from Hollywood Michael Madsen.

Hollywood Big Shot Michael Madsen Joins BB…

This was the wedding that the celeb gossip columns and the music world said would not last the joint infused liaison between loopy singer Sinead O’Connor and seemingly naïve therapist Barry Herridge.

It seems the need for some ‘Blow’ a ‘Spliff’ or just a ‘Common Joint’ was the first sign of a crack in the marriage when at the wedding reception everyone was drinking except Sinead O’Connor because she is either a recovering alcoholic and/or she does not drink. Anyway the bottom line is she wanted a smoke of marijuana. That seems to have not gone down so well with the friends and family of therapist new husband Barry Herridge. Meaning that a pork chop at an Islam wedding would have been more popular than some ‘Blow’ a ‘Spliff’ or just a ‘Common Joint’ at a Sinead O’Connor Wedding!

Before this latest marriage cracked and Sinead O’Connor decided to weed new hubby Barry Herridge out of the door. Let’s look back at some of the Sinead O’Connor sexual preferences down the years – quote – ‘I am a Big Lesbian Mule or I am a common Dyke’ – more – ‘I’m three-quarters heterosexual, a quarter gay and I like hairy blokes’

It is all over the press that this latest of the four marriage’s of Sinead O’Connor to Barry Herridge latest 16 days or 17 days at the most! But as often happens the news is incorrect the official line from Ms Sinead O’Connor is – quote – “Lived together for 7 days only”.

So all the critics and pundits have been proved wrong once again saying the marriage would not last it lasted for seven days officially – after all what more can you expect from Sinead O’Connor – the audacity and the hubris of the press thinking the marriage lasted 16 or 17 days!

Sinead O’Connor’s Marriage Cracks as she Weeds out New Husband after 7 Days…

One more time millions of people hit the shopping trail – fed up with no work – fed up with no money! The UK public object in the best way they know – Spend Spend Spend – the British are past masters at spending, millions were reared on a philosophy – ‘Live Now Pay Later’

Here is an official statement on UK Boxing Day Sales – quote –
The Next retailer group – quote – ‘600 shops in the capital’s West End reported £15m of combined takings inside the first three hours.’

The Bullring shopping centre in Birmingham – quote – 2,500 people waited for Next to open. One thousand more crowded the entrance to Selfridges.

Some people were skating far away from reality with this lame excuse for shopping – quote – ‘We were buying late Xmas presents or gifts we forget’ Yeah we believe that as Elvis still shops in Oxford Street too! Any excuse was on the table and the truth is no one cared as long as they could Shop Shop Shop!

Roll the tape fast forward early February 2012 the credit card bills are delivered – OUCH!

It was similar scenes across the whole of UK as shoppers went on a Buy Buy Buy spree!

UK Boxing Day Sales Bonanza…

Manchester United 5 – Wigan 0

There is one undisputable fact about footballers in the EPL – English Premier League some are steady reliable journeymen. They play week in week out ‘Steady as a Rock’ never letting the team down yet never grabbing the headlines. Then you have the top players whose best form comes and goes, experts say ‘Form is variable – Class is Permanent’ this is the category they fit into like the great veteran Manchester United superstar Ryan Giggs – John Terry the Chelsea center back – Ashley Cole another Blues player who is one of the best full backs in the world – Joey Barton fans love him or hate him but he is without doubt one of the best midfield players playing in the EPL today.

Then you have the rare breed the flair players the players that can do unbelievable things with ball, play the game so skillfully in a relaxed manner – that to watch they make football look easy! They are special and only a few come along every generation. In 2011 Spurs have one in the mercurial Luka Modric who plays football like a dream as he jinks – twists and glides over the turf with the ball under such tight control one may think it is tethered to his feet – such are the amazing skills of this wonderfully creative midfield genius.

Then one has to travel up north to Manchester to find a striker – a goal poacher extraordinaire – the laconic goalmouth magician Dimitar Berbatov. Now this genius is a luxury that only the very rich clubs can afford to keep on the payroll, because they do not play often – not because they are injured – but as in the case of Dimitar Berbatov who only wants to play in the box and has a reluctance to play and work for the rest of the team. But when guys like Dimitar Berbatov play they are electric like on Boxing Day when Dimitar Berbatov scored a magical hat-trick as United hammered a 10-man Wigan Athletic side 5-0

Berbatov hits Stunning Boxing Day Hat Trick v Wigan…

Lingere – Bras Off Knickers Down

Luxury UK lingerie maker La Senza are on the commercial scrapheap as the troubled bra and panties group call in the administrators. La Senza have become renowned as one of the premier lingerie brands of the world and despite the news that they are closing down La Senza adverts are still being posted across Asia in the Orient where girls love luxury lingerie brands like Le Senza.

The demise of this stellar lingerie brand is a hammer blow to the beleaguered UK economy that is deep in recession and now thanks to Le Senza another 2,600 jobs are lost and will see Le Senza close 146 stores and 18 concessions across the UK.

Official report on the pending Le Senza closure released by a company representative – quote – “Due to trading conditions in La Senza’s high street locations and the overall macro environment which are having an adverse effect on the company,the board of directors of La Senza has filed a notice of intention to appoint administrators. ” – more – “For the avoidance of doubt, the company is not currently in administration, and no administrator has been appointed.”

Not a good omen as we enter 2012, in the UK and the rest of the world there is a demand and market that should see quality lingerie makers like Le Senza flourish and go from strength to strength. Sadly the reality is that the bras and panties are now on the floor and no one is going to pick them up!

La Senza the Bras comes Off and the Panties come Down…

It is well known that when he arrived in Manchester as a teenager that when football superstar Cristiano Ronaldo was not playing football, folks that know him say he has a wicked eye always on the lookout for ‘Eye Candy’ ie beautiful women. When he played for Manchester United Cristiano Ronaldo was known as a ‘Man About Town’ often seen with Wayne Rooney and others in the WAG infested night clubs in and around Manchester and the nearby towns.

Then he got the £80million dream move to Spain to join the La Liga giants the mighty Real Madrid where on the pitch he has been a revelation scoring 86 goals in 79 appearances.

However off the pitch with the ‘Eye Candy’ Cristiano Ronaldo has ditched his Manchester style bed hopping and for over a year now has been dating super WAG top Russian supermodel Irina Shayk!

Irina Shayk – Ozami Tale of the Tape
• Birth Name = Irina Shaykhlislamova aka Irina Shayk
• Date of Birth = January 6, 1986 ;
• Place of Birth = Yemanzhelinsk, Russia ;
• Height = 5′ 10” (178 cm) ;
• Hair Color = Light Brown ;
• Eye Color = Green ;
• Weight = 110 lbs (50 kg) ;
• Measurements and vital stats = 34-23-35 US; (86.5-58-88) EU ;
• Dress Size = 4 (US) 34 (EU) ;
• Shoe Size = 7

This girl Irina Shayk is sensational and in our opinion wins hands down as the Ozami WAG of the Year 2011.

Has Cristiano Ronaldo Bagged in Irina Shayk the WAG of the Year…

Stars come and go on the American show ‘The X Factor’ they pass through in and out of fame like chocolates being boxed up on a continuous production line conveyor belt. Some celebs hardly last long enough to get the standard deal package – ‘15 Minutes of Fame’ so winners and losers need to be smart these days or they are soon going to find that all they have left are memories and the money they made has long gone!

So it is great news to see the latest winner of the show – Melanie Amaro to buy House with ‘The X Factor’ Winnings.

Fabulous to here that is such a sensible thing to do as long as she does not get sucked into any corrupt housing scam or foreclosure racket. Melanie Amaro won $5 Million US Dollars an awful lot of money by any standards, but it still need to be managed and invested with care including background profiling and due diligence checks before making an investment in a house and/or high value items like cars – furniture – fixtures and fittings etc etc.

Simon Cowell – quote – Amaro, who was mentored by judge Simon Cowell and was at one point eliminated then reinstated to the contest, was awarded the grand prize: a $5 million recording contract and a starring role in a Pepsi commercial.

Melanie Amaro to buy House with ‘The X Factor’ Winnings…

Hey guys and gals before you post any comments we are going to kick off this article by saying that one new celeb that has hit the headlines in 2011 is in our humble opinion almost unique amongst modern day celebrities she has both a body and a brain. She is Essex girl Amy Childs – here is what we know about her :-

Amy Childs – Ozami Tale of the Tape
• She is big in the region between the waist and the neck – Uh so what! That is a necessity if one is after good reviews in the UK tabloid ‘The Sun’ These days The Sun is the hallowed territory of the D Cup up like the E Cup the F Cup and like Lucy Collett the new Page 3 Idol the majestic G Cup! Girls have to have the ‘Cup’ says ‘The Sun’
• M/s Amy Childs rips off well when stripped down for sexy model poses – millions of guys and dudes rate Amy as hot ‘Eye Candy’
• Amy Childs is a ‘Bra Queen’ in 2011 exclusively for Tesco
• Amy Childs uses her brain to maximize her earning potential and has her own fashion range, sold exclusively on her website AmyChildsOfficial.Co.Uk/
• Amy Childs is savvy enough to have used her brains one more time and has her own High Street Beauty Salon.

Amy Childs Body and Brains Combo…

Recession hit UK has announced enough is enough as people fill the High Streets and the Shopping Malls along with the internet in a £2 Billion UK Pound shopping bonanza!

Great Britain has sprung into end of year action the roads are chocker block with over 21 million cars on the roads with the drivers and passengers all with one track minds – we are going shopping!

Payments firm Visa expects to process more than 33million transactions worth more than £2 Billion UK Pounds.

The shopping blitz will see tills racking up over £1 Million UK Pounds in sales every minute of opening hours. Plus the Internet for online shopping is open round the clock 24 hours all day every day!

So much for the recession – up yours too! Seems to be back to live now – pay later!

Britain Goes Xmas Shopping Crazy Racking Up £2 Billion in Sales…

Two of the all time ‘Gunners’ greats are modern day sporting superstars Robin van Persie and Thierry Henry. Both can be categorized as great goal scorers both in the EPL – English Premier League and the CL – Champions League not forgetting of course a hatful of goals they have each scored for their national teams RVP – Holland and TH – France.
But it is at the old Highbury stadium and the new Emirates Stadium where Robin van Persie and Thierry Henry have excelled for Arsenal FC.

Robin van Persie has just equalled Thierry Henry’s Arsenal record for scoring 34 Premier League goals in a calendar year.

The Dutchman has scored 34 times in 2011 and has two matches left this year to try and beat all time EPL record of 36 by Alan Shearer in 1995.

RVP – Robin van Persie had this to say – quote – “It is a big honour to equal Thierry’s record because he is probably the best player Arsenal ever had. ” – more – “To achieve what he did in a year is really special. It makes me proud.”

RVP – Robin van Persie beats Thierry Henry Arsenal Goal Score Record…

2011 has been a great year for British professional racing cyclists the year has seen some great rides by top UK pros Bradley Wiggins – Chris Froome – David Millar and a whole raft of select riders who race for the UK pro team ‘Team Sky’

But at the top of the pile in UK pro cyclists is the new winner of BBC Sports Personality of the year 2011 the UK World Road Race Champion Mark Cavendish.

On winning this prestigious award Mark Cavendish said – quote – “I’m absolutely speechless.”

Mark is the 2011 Road World Champion. He is also a Tour de France green jersey winner and was awarded an MBE in November for his services to cycling.

In second place was golfer Darren Clarke, 43.
In third place was runner Mo Farah, 28.

Pro Racing Cyclist Mark Cavendish BBC Sports Personality of the year 2011…

Hey before we start we are fans and supporters of gays, however we are not very keen on poseurs in fact we dislike them. So when we heard that US poseur Adam Lambert had been arrested in Finland. We immediately thought big deal – who cares!

Here is the full story – quote – The ‘Tosser’ wait that cannot be right, try again the ‘Plonker’ wrong again – one more time the “American Idol” runner-up Adam Lambert was caught brawling and bitching with his boyfriend in Finland. It was all about handbags and saying nasty things like – ‘You Bitch You Bitch’ how awful that he could use such nasty hate ridden words about his pint sized Finnish boyfriend Sauli Koskinen in the wee hours of Dec. 22 in Helsinki outside the gay club DTM (“Don’t Tell Mama”).

Huh we are gob smacked to hear that such things go on in 2011 and we sincerely hope they can sort out their relationship in time that they may copulate together in Xmas harmony!

Gay Boy Adam Lambert Arrested in Finland…

The results are in for this year’s Playlist music poll and right there at the top of the pile are the one and only Lady Gaga best female after her album ‘Born This Way’ sold 8 million copies to date so far this year.

Heading up the male section is 26 year old Bruno Mars who has had a stellar year with with four Top 10 hits and two sell-out tours.

The best band award went to to Coldplay whose ‘Mylo Xyloto’ propelled the four-piece back to the top this year.

The Sexiest Female went to Rihanna, 23.

The Sexiest Male came in with a surprise choice love song crooner Michael Bublé.

Seems like none of the rockers from the 70s 80s and 90s were in the running it was all about newcomers of the last few years for the Playlist music poll of 2011.

Queen Lady Gaga and King Bruno Mars Top Playlist Music Poll…

Ozami reports the news as it breaks out or in this case as it perks upwards like a fish gasping for air. We are gasping too as we have just opened today’s print of The Sun to find center stage the Page 3 honey the breathtaking redhead Lucy Collett has won the coveted Page 3 Idol competition.

The best upfront images of Lucy Collett are copyright protected so check them out in the sensational UK tabloid ‘The Sun’
Lucy Collett – Tale of the Tape
35 – 26 – 35
Cup Size G – err ‘Eh You What!’ gulp eek!
UK Size 12
Just 22 years old big enough to care and big enough to…
Come on boys check out Lucy Collett they say redheads are amazing in the sack!
If you know tell us your experiences.
Check out her ‘Chapel Hat Pegs’ in ‘The Sun’
Lucy Collett is the first redhead winner of the Page 3 Idol competition.

Lucy Collett Redhead with Frontage 2011 Winner of Page 3 Idol…

Well as one would expect there was a whole boat load of contenders for the ‘EPL Incompetence Award of 2011’

The list is almost endless starting with Alan Pardew boss at Newcastle United who is similar to a Yorkshire Pudding all soft and covered in onion gravy. EPL players hundreds are in the shuffle but arguably standing alone as the ‘Prat of the Year’ is Manchester City want away striker Carlos Tevez. EPL Managers a heap of no hopers but right at the bottom where he belongs is Blackburn Rovers boss Steve Kean – who should be called the ‘Great Survivor’ but he is still in a job thanks to the winners of the ‘EPL Incompetence Award of 2011’ the unbelievably incompetent owners of Blackburn Rovers the Indian company Venky’s.

Runners up take your pick from Joey Barton – John Terry – Mario Balotelli – Ashley Cole – Mike Ashley – Peter Crouch – Luis Suarez and so on the names just keep rolling off the keyboard.

EPL Incompetence Award of 2011…

The results are in for the internet search engines most searched celebs of 2011
Coming in
• 5th Place – Jennifer Aniston maybe number five is above her grade but shows how weak the competition is!
• 4th Place – Scarlett Johannson well someone has to be number four.
• 3rd Place – Emma Stone ‘Eye Candy’ and not much else.
• 2nd Place – Victoria Beckham all huff and splutter about nothing, has a fixation with herself.
• 1st Place – Old Boiler and renowned US porn slut, boasting the fattest ass in the world, US TV celeb and reality freak the nauseating – YES! – the one and only Kim Kardashian!

The mind boggles that anyone of these can get in the top 100 never mind the top 5!

Old Boiler Springs Surprise in Ozami UK Most Searched Celebs of 2011…

Kate Middleton has been voted UKs best dressed celeb for 2011. How best to describe Kate – Duchess of Cambridge – we have to be careful we do not just give her a common street word to describe her exquisite looks. Throwing caution to the winds, we will be bold and outrageous and select an old English word rarely used these days. We say Kate Middleton aka Kate – Duchess of Cambridge is ‘DELIGHTFUL’

Kate has been an inspiration to millions she is vibrant – intelligent – photogenic – poised – caring – diligent – regal – with a super personality that swathes around millions!

Prince William is a perfect match for Kate they make tor the best of the best and we look forward to see them engaging in the pubkic spotlight for decades to come.

Kate Middleton is a true UK ‘National Treasure’

Kate Middleton is UK Best Dressed Celeb 2011…

For all existing, aspiring and budding UK WAGs here is your intelligence guide for 2012
• Hair – Preference blonde out of a bottle if you are not a real blonde.
• Bust – Big either enhanced or au natural word of advice nipples must be perky!
• Brain – Airheads and Dumbos make star quality WAGs.
• Dress – Must like tacky slutty common clothes that make you look like a typical street ho!
• Talk – Must suck up to your lover – tell him anything good that will massage his huge ego – if you are stuck for words start chatting about pussy that will get his attention!
• Public Profile – Must be comfortable with the press and be able to string three words together for the media. For advanced learners the 3 words to remember are ‘Eh You What!’
• WAGs School – We have set up an Ozami WAGs School where we teach WAGs how to remember the three words ‘Eh You What!’ Learning course is usually 10 One hour lessons at £100 pound per hour. It is normal to need 10 hours of tuition to learn the words. Get your EPL footballer to pay!

WAGs Intelligence Guide 2012…

Gone but never to be forgotten arguably the greatest writer of the modern era Christopher Hitchens is no longer here with us to drink and celebrate Xmas. Drinking was his hobby and he was wonderfully blessed with the ability to consume large quantities of whisky and red wine as he quoted when it came to drinking alcohol he had the constitution of a mule.

Here is classic Christopher Hitchens one liner on drinking – quote – “The research also shows clearly for the first time that drinking any kind of alcohol — not just red wine — can protect the heart.”
Another Christopher Hitchens on eating – quote – ‘A tip: Try to eat something, indeed, at every meal. ‘
Christopher Hitchens on God – best read his book – ‘God Is Not Great’

The ‘Hitch’ was a truly original ‘One Off’ few of his ilk and style come along in any one generation!

Christopher Hitchens passed away on December 15, 2011 due to pneumonia complications relating to Esophageal cancer.

In Memory of Christopher Hitchens 1949 – 2011…

Jewish musician Rick Recht is all the rave right now with Jewish crowds has he has them all in focus with his very own St. Louis guitar playing especially when it is celebration time like now which sees the eight-day holiday of Hanukkah, which started Tuesday night, Rick Recht has the Jewish media and the Jewish audience captivated at this festive time!
It’s all about timing and delivery and Rick Recht is a showman who knows when it is a showtime and for Jews that means rock the music to us in our Hanukkah.

One official comment made by Rick Recht – quote – “This is a time of year when Jews are hyper-aware of their identity,” – more – “And music is a sledgehammer. There is nothing more effective in terms of affecting identity .?.?. Judaism is competing in a world of products and ways to experience spirituality, and it’s important for Judaism to be repackaged in a way that’s meaningful, relevant and exciting.”

Rick Recht is on tour right now in the States moving from one Jewish community to the next!

Rick Recht Rocks Jewish Crowds with Hanukkah Music…

Just been surfing the net for all the latest celeb news and was checking out the babes at both ‘The Sun Babes v The Daily Star Babes’ Now both of these UK tabloids have been doing topless spreads for years but most of the time they are shooting pics with a one track mind – the bigger the frontage the better the readers will like!

But hey times change and tastes change and in our humble opinion The Daily Star is looking beyond the babe with the biggest under carriage and it is delightful to see beautiful slimmer models like Emma 23, of Stoke on Trent and Danielle 28, of Liverpool taking center stage. These girls and many more in The Daily Star go to show that girls do not have to have the ‘Biggest Knockers’ in the world to look beautiful! Hey to all at The Sun why not showcase some slimmer girls on Page 3!

The Sun Babes v The Daily Star Babes…

Well as 2011 heads for the archives of history. We look to 2012 and wonder which new celebs will take the media by storm. We all hope a new stunner like the divine ‘Pippa’ the derriere Pippa Middleton who took 2011 by storm when she was showcasing her awesome ass at the Royal Wedding!

The UK media and the daily tabloids will not let us down but we have to hope that someone special takes center stage, Because after all Jordan – Abbey Clancy and a few more are getting dull and boring. What the UK badly needs is a badass girl like they have in the States with the never dull Lindsay Lohan. Let’s see something new because there is only so much one can take of airheads strutting around with big tits and little else. One new Kate Moss look alike is needed and needed in 2012 at the latest.

Come on tabloids find that new one – quickly and don’t leave it up to The Sun as they cannot think past Page 3 and large breasts!

2012 New Year Celebs…

In EPL football there is the helpless like Blackburn Rovers. Then the useless owners like Venky’s of Blackburn Rovers. All topped up with the worst manager to ever manage an EPL football team Steve Kean, and believe me that is some statement as there have been some bad ones down the years.

But we understand that a Venky’s chef started to spit roast Steve Kean early on Wednesday morning and when he is done he is going to be minced up into Steve Kean Pies. Then the Venky’s to appease the Blackburn Rovers fans will hand out Xmas sacks filled with mini Steve Kean Pies.

Early Christmas Sack Special Roasted Steve Kean Pie…

Well we have a society category and now as 2011 winds down we showcase the biggest high society celebrity in the world. HRH Elizabeth II Queen of England because she is holding a huge Christmas party at Sandringham and some of the invites on the official guest list include :- 29-year-olds Prince William and Princess Kate, Princess Beatrice, 23, and Princess Eugenie, 21,Prince Harry, 27, Zara Phillips, 30, and her new husband Mike Tindall, 33. There will be 27 royal guests in total. So it will be turkeys all round washed down with Hoorays!

Sounds like the sort of do the Duke will excel listening to all the royal gossip and of course reference will be made about mere mortals. The Duke of Edinburgh is renowned for his wit and wicked sense of humor.

High Society Xmas Bash with The Queen..

It just shows what you can do in life when you mature and have a ton of cash, of course the answer is hang out with the Hef at the Playboy Mansion and play around with the bunnies.

At least that is what you can do when you are a mature 17 years of age – have the cash and are named Justin Beiber. As the Playboy guvnor Hugh Hefner says ‘Welcome’ and now Hef’s ex fiancé Crystal Harris is in on the act – quote – “I want to meet Justin Bieber. I have Bieber fever. We all do, all the Playmates. We all want to meet him.”

Justin Bieber using Playboy Mansion as a Regular Hang Out…

Abbey Clancy WAG and bed partner of ‘Long Tall Sally’ no that is wrong of ‘EPL Beanpole’ oops wrong again. Let’s try on more time wife of Stoke City footballer Peter Crouch! Phew we had to give that three tries yet that will still not be as many hookers that Crouch hooked up with in Madrid, earlier in the year. Anyway that is all BS the latest celeb news from the high IQ Crouch household is that the Mrs – meaning Abbey Clancy is in all the UK tabloids taking her kit off for Xmas and are we allowed to say this, she finished up wearing only skimpy panties!

My oh My the WAG is topless!

We mentioned the high IQ family as Mr Crouch’s head is very high off the ground.

Abbey Clancy Togs Off for Xmas…

The end of year EPL transfer window is now open and the tabloids are full of transfer news speculation and pages of gossip and rumors.

But one thing is certain down at Stamford Bridge Chelsea FC is not a happy camp either on the pitch – off the pitch – or in dealing with the hapless clueless manager AVB. Many players are unsettled and when they are on the pitch look like they could not care less!

Didier Drogba is one exception he is on fire, and playing out of his skin, but the problems lies with the dummy who is the manager AVB, so one has to ask will Didier Drogba say enough is enough and leave to join a new club. AVB has been dithering about offering the striker a new contract and it looks to outsiders that AVB has lost the confidence of most of the dressing room. So in our opinion if the best player they have on current form decides to leave then surely Lampard and others will jump off the sinking Stamford Bridge ship!

Will Didier Drogba leave AVB led Chelsea FC…

Legend
AVB – meaning – Andre Villas-Boas the Portuguese Chelsea FC Manager
EPL – meaning – English Premier League

Almost as soon as new Swedish model Julia Schneider has started to strut the major catwalks around the world. Comments have been made that the 15 year old is too thin, but herein lays the dichotomy facing the young aspiring model if she piles on the weight, she stands to be dropped by many of the leading fashion and model agencies. So basically she is in a no win situation she stays the same weight and is in constant demand to model, while at the same time having to deal with a barrage of comments about how rakish she looks!

Julia Schneider has a tough choice to make but our guess is she will want to get all the modeling assignments and endorsements she can.

What about this advice to Joe Public Julia Schneider is still only 15 years of age – so ‘Give Her a Chance!’

Julia Schneider – Elite Model Contest Winner

Is Julia Schneider New Top Elite Model too Thin…

Amy Winehouse was beset with a body full of unwanted substances, but enough of that! Where she had no problems in life was with her voice this girl will go down in history undisputably, as the best singer of her generation.

Hence it comes as no surprise to see booming sales “Lioness: Hidden Treasures” the first new album since her tragic and untimely death in the summer of 2011

Amy Winehouse – “Lioness: Hidden Treasures” Tracks
1. “Our Day Will Come”
2. “Between the Cheats”
3. “Tears Dry”
4. “Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow?”
5. “Like Smoke”
6. “Valerie”
7. “The Girl from Ipanema”
8. “Half Time”
9. “Wake Up Alone”
10. “Best Friends, Right?”
11. “Body and Soul”
12. “A Song for You”

Amy Winehouse “Lioness: Hidden Treasures” Sells 110,000 in Week 1…

Actress and model Liz Hurley is spending a few days down in Melbourne, Australia which is very convenient as her boyfriend ex cricketer Shane Warne is here at the same time. Hey wait a minute Shane is no longer the BF he is the fiancé as Liz and Shane got engaged in Scotland in October 2011.

So now it is all official like it is fine for everyone to play happy families and if that means chucking in a game of cricket – well we guess that is fine too!

Liz Hurley and Shane Warne up for a bit of cricket in Australia…

Duff McKagan legendary frontman for supergroup Loaded who are show openers on tour with Guns n Roses jammed with the Roses in Vancouver on Saturday December 17, 2011 at the Pacific Coliseum in Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada

Duff joined up with GnR on “You Could Be Mine” and “Civil War”.

There is a lot of rock buzz talk these days about Duff McKagan joining back up permanently with his old band Guns n Roses. But that is all it is so far just talk but who knows to quote Duff – “After all, it is just some dudes doing what they know how to do best: connect with the audience, that fan-ship that has honored us with their presence for so damn long. And THAT, my friends . . . is overwhelming.”

Time flies by as it is now 17 years since Duff McKagan left Guns n Roses

Duff McKagan sings with Guns n Roses in Vancouver…

The reality and celeb world is full of wannabes and well those that are almost as trivial as a piece of garbage! Then at the top of the pile in this weird and wonderful entertainment sector you get the power players like Simon Cowell who has just hooked in a media superstar the one and only Howard Stern. Cowell of the great “America’s Got Talent” show will now have onboard a new judge Howard Stern.

Simon Cowell had this to say about Howard Stern – quote – “If he goes too far, he’ll be kicked off.” – but then added – “He’s not stupid, this guy.”

Simon Cowell hooks in Howard Stern for AGT!…

Legend
AGT – meaning – America’s Got Talent NBC TV show Top-Rated Summer Competition Series

Some stars and celebrities and last only slightly longer than an ordinary Joe who hits the spotlight for – ’15 minutes of fame’   Then every so often along comes a ‘Teak Hard Survivor’ like the sassy Lindsay Lohan. She breaks the law – goes to prison – defies the court judges – breaks probation – the negatives go on and on! But Lindsay Lohan keeps bouncing back against all the odds.

This week sees Lindsay Lohan showcasing her air brushed nude body all over the Playboy January 2012 magazine – her critics and there are many have said that her ‘Playboy debut falls flat’ really her upper body looked plump and ripe to me! We are fans of Lindsay Lohan because she is a trier. We see only one negative about her playboy feature that is we could not make out exactly the ‘Hair Style’ of her nether regions. But then again Playboy is for titillation not gloves off pornography!

But hey Lindsay! ‘When will you be going the extra yard from Playboy to a Van Nuys porn studio?’

Lindsay Lohan Showcasing in Playboy shows she is now ‘Miss Goody Two Shoes’…

Legend

Goody Two Shoes – meaning – Belittling and insulting term for a person who won’t do anything that can be regarded as “wrong” or “immoral”. A male or female who perceives him/herself (or is believed to perceive him/herself) as morally superior – often also God-fearing and full-bloodedly American.  – more – (Disclaimer: Not very urban or very modern slang these days, though.) – Attribution to UrbanDictionary.Com

 

Americans often have an undefineable connection between God and Sports. We are not going to pursue the positives or negatives of such analogies. But there is power and status behind any combination relative to sports and God. Hence when  less than three months back a new buzzword website was launched on the internet  Tebowing aka Tebowing.Com the site was an instant viral success and has now been elevated as the in word of the year and millions of Yanks are Tebowing!

Now quite frankly we have an open mind about Tebowing namely is it for real when a sports star gets down on one knee to pray in the middle of a live sports event  or is Tim Tebow just trying to look like a vagina in public!

We report – you decide!

Legend

Tebowing – meaning – Two meanings ‘To get down on a knee and start praying, even if everyone else around you is doing something completely different.’ Attribution to UrbanDictionary.Com and/or a person trying to look like a vagina in public!

Tebowing is one of the Top 2011 Buzz Words…